2019 In Review. (A short story of the 2010s)

Well, we are at the end of the 2010s. And this feels right, somehow. It’s been a wild decade. I started this decade as an absolute naive dumbass, that was making mistake after mistake after mistake. But it was the year I started writing on this blog. And just like any writer or artist, boy, t’was cringe. But, I started this decade in love, and I am ending it in love, which is sweet and gives it a mirroring effect. I also didn’t know what I wanted to do with myself, who I was or what I wanted. This then transitioned into the wildest years of my life, where I ran a coffee bar, together with a friend. Which, obviously failed, due to our lack of experience. Then the two years of pure depression and a sudden realization of what I wanted to do. Followed by determination, attending college, hype due to said college, disappointment, frustration, anger, and spite.

Which brings us all to 2016, when I publish my first book whilst in college. Trapped: Autumn, a bold first step into the publishing world. Six months later, I publish my second book. A sequel named Trapped: Spring. The two a few months later break the top 100. And seeing that being at a literally college, no one cared about someone that actually published books, I dropped out. In 2018, the two books sell copies every single month of the year. While writing Trapped: Summer, I develop panic attacks and a severe general anxiety disorder. I stop writing. After months of focusing on my mental health that year, I restart my passion, by launching my own website and re-writing some of my old content and slowly getting back into writing. After changing day jobs in October, I also manage to quit smoking after almost 10 years. Towards the latter half of the year, I start writing again, finishing with a few new short stories, and announcing the biggest project on this Blog, Attropolis.

But 2018 ends with an idea about the order of the last two books in the Trapped: Seasons series. Thus I start writing a new book, Trapped: Winter. So, 2019 starts with me publishing Trapped: Winter in January. A new fantastic chapter in the series. But due to burnout, panic attacks and anxiety, my efforts to market it or sell it are zero. The next few months, I re-write Trapped: Summer from zero and that first summer day I publish it. But again, due to severe stress, anxiety and burnout, my marketing and selling efforts are close to zero. Yet, I kept writing, as people were reading the blog. Whether they were keeping up with my first 52 week story on this blog, Attropolis. Or they were engaged into The Pilot Program and those short stories. With a few thousand people visiting the website this year. This October I also had the chance to write an interactive story for an app named Questo for my hometown. And seeing over 800 people gather at once place to play an interactive game in the real life, was simply awe inspiring and humbling. In 2019 I also managed to rectify some of my biggest regrets and mistakes that I had made at the beginning of this decade. I also started following my dream job as a full time job, as now I am writing full time and not sacrificing anything for it. Which is rather stressful. This year, I also started writing for the fifth book. With almost a hundred pages written and edited, together with the cover of it being almost done. Here are some impressive numbers:

Story of a Game in 2019: 1 (Questo App)

Books Published in 2019: 2 (Trapped: Winter, Trapped: Summer)

Short Stories Published in 2019: 62 - 52 (Attropolis) + 8 (The Pilot Program) + 2 (Rants) (That’s 1.19 short stories per week)

Total Pages Written in 2019: 815

Words Written in 2019: 275.000

Characters Written in 2019: 1.3 Million (It’s just weird to think about this one, that’s why I am including it)

What’s to come in 2020?

Well, another at least 2 books, another 52 weeks of short stories, another season of The Pilot Program. And much more. Believe me, I am just starting.

Consider donating: https://www.paypal.me/RaulFO

Trapped: Winter - An excerpt about things

Maybe a disruption helps from time to time from the average days of the mundane, the ordinary and the plain.

It might get your brain rattled, shaken for something interesting to find or think.

Or just simply distracted from all one wants to avoid… Isn’t that right?

Of course it is, nothing works better than distractions. Or changes for the sake of just changing anything, so one can be busy, have an excuse to procrastinate on the things that really matter. Well, that’s if you choose to make them matter.

Otherwise it’s pointless. Isn’t it? To choose anything or have any sort of say or need for freedom of choice… When you don’t want to choose or do anything, really.

But then again, so is trying to find your purpose in life and starting to do something with what you have been gifted.

There are simpler ways to deal with that… Just chuck the responsibility on some entity and say it’s in their will. Whether it’s Karma or whatever god you can come up with… And you’re have no more responsibility to be or do anything, because you know you already have your place reserved and you’ll be forgiven once you pass onto the next life, whatever for it may be, if there is one.

So, if it’s in his will, why should one have the choice to choose what they do with their life? If it’s in his will… Your life doesn’t belong to you, does it? It’s either his or yours, it can’t be both.

Not that it really matters, because when it comes down to it all, there’s nothing really that matters, if you don’t want it to matter. Is there?

No, not by default, only by designation…

Just like choosing who we are with.

Choosing is used loosely in this context, isn’t it?

To choose means you knew all options and chose the best one for you. Yet if you do not know yourself, if you do not know what you want… If you don’t have all options… What exactly are you choosing?

Whatever is left… And you’re happy with that, aren’t you? You’re happy with what you’re getting and nothing else. Isn’t that right?

That’s not choosing, is it? When you’re forced by circumstance to choose between bad and bad-ish, between okay and okay-ish. To have to choose something that is not up to your standards…

Or…

Or worse… Choose something that doesn’t even satisfy you after a while. Something that is becoming a nagging thing you can’t escape from, but you’re not willing to risk it, because it’s better with the lesser evil than alone, or worse… With someone that is worst that she is…

Things, they’re all things that are here and there and everywhere…

So you settle… You aren’t willing to go for better, because you might never get the better, since the better already found the better of you in someone else. So, now you sulk at the thought… A regret for no reason, as it didn’t happen, yet, you’re not willing to risk it. To get out of this box of misery you live in. But nor can you tell all this to the person you are, because you just might hurt their feelings. You might just insult them unwillingly, about a truth we all know, yet don’t we don’t speak of. When we have the tools to find those that we want or need, we shut our mouths and close ourselves off, because trying to find those we want or need, might end up in disappointment. So we settle, for worse, never for better, always for worse.

Always for worse than you can do, I can do, anyone can do. Because there’s nothing else that matters, as long as you don’t die alone, suffering and crying.

Right? Wasting away, what a self-inflicted tragedy that no one will mourn. Because no one should mourn someone like that, a monster that love its own misery to the extent you do. And then you wonder why no one wants you, when you can’t even love the thing you are.

Things, that’s all we are, things that pass. Everything is a thing of a thing of a thing. And no one can change that, no one… Because you’re either no one thing or some thing that does a thing that has its thing of a purpose that helps things.

And everyone loves a good thing, don’t they?

So I heard.

Consider donating: https://www.paypal.me/RaulFO

An Artist's Manifesto

Hi, I honestly didn’t think I would do this… But here I am.

What do you think when you hear the word artist? Probably a musician, a painter, photographer, dancer… More in the audio-visual department I suppose. Why? Looking the question what type of artists there are you get a long list: “Some different types of art are animation, architecture, assemblage, calligraphy, ceramics, computer, Christian or religious, conceptual, artistic design, drawing, folk, graffiti, graphic, illuminated manuscript, illustration, mosaic, painting, performance, photography, sculpture, stained glass, tapestry, and video.” This is just to kind of give you an idea of why I am talking about this. It bothers me, I don’t like this… I really don’t. Each of those mentioned above have an industry attached to their name, this will make sense a bit later, yet, they are still considered art. The same goes for movies, right? Movies are mainstream, making billions upon billions of dollars, they are also art, more some than others, and the people involved in them are artists, right? Here’s a tweet that kind of tipped the scales in my decision to write this manifesto.:

https://twitter.com/Brandonwoelfel/status/1082087400099274754

Now… My question is as follows, when did writers/authors fall out of this category of artists? Why is writing not an art? Why is the writer not an artists? Are we taking books for granted? Are we taking writers for granted? Let me walk you through this a bit. There were multiple strikes by the screenwriter’s guild, with another one just barely avoided this past few years. My question is why? How can those that put the skeleton of a project together be treated in such a way that even to this day they are underpaid and overworked? Behind these masterpieces and these countless hours of entertainment you get every single day. From the writers in a TV station behind a show you’re watching cause you have nothing better to do, those that writer for YouTube channels, to writers that rip your heart out with some of the best TV/Movies/plays out there… To those that writer short stories and finally those that write books, the authors. Which 98% of them couldn’t live on the money they make from their sales books, because they the house they signed with ripped them off, scammed them, or simply wouldn’t pay them or tricked them into a horrible deal. To those that self-published and don’t usually get a chance. But all these people write and create some of your favorite stories… Those that are either talented or worked their asses off to become the wordsmiths they are in order to blow your mind. Those people that can create whole worlds that have endless interpretations, those people aren’t worth being called artists? How can people deny the fact that there’s an art in discourse, in writing, creating, thinking, imagining and mustering the power of putting all those feelings and thoughts into words isn’t an art and that writers aren’t artists themselves? Writing is as much a visual art as anything else. But we never really do consider them artists, do we? They are their own breed… Either amateurs or intellectuals… But never the artist… We have to change that. It’s unacceptable. We have sites that promote artistry but leave out writers and writings, poetry and plays. We auction paintings and photos, yet no one is auctioning for books. Authors have to sell their books for pennies or a dime, when we ask for 12-15 dollars a book, we look at the author like he is a fucking madman, because he is not well known, we don’t think of the hours put behind that work, the people that contributed to it, like an editor, proofreader, beta-readers, printing, publishing, those that designed the covers or paintings withing the book itself. Authors have to sacrifice 80 to 90% of the “income” from a single book, in order to pay others first, before getting anything for all that work. Playwrights spend countless days writing pieces, and don’t get paid until the play really becomes profitable or maybe never. Yet we don’t take any of that into consideration, because they’re not artists, they’re writers, they’re intellectuals or another species… And that their industry is full of snobs and if they’re intellectuals, they'‘re smart enough to find a way to make money (See? Told you it would make sense later). Unless you’re stupid lucky or dead, literature doesn’t really pay, neither in respect nor monetary. If you really want to become a successful writer, you must be a brilliant marketer and seller first, something no one really tells you. There are so many stories of author being rejected 20-40-100 times on their brilliant works or being accepted when they’re old and jaded, and have developed a mental illness that it becomes depressing, not really a success story.

One last thought… If the boundary delimition between something that is art and something that is not is the same across painters, photographers, musicians and writers, then writer and their writing is an art too. You can’t refer to photographers as artists and as writers as non-artists, because the only difference is the “value” and “importance” their work has. The medium is very much irrelevant.

Writers are artists and I want to push that forward, because there is no real argument against writers and their works not being seen as art. So let’s start doing that from now on. Thank you.

Consider donating: https://www.paypal.me/RaulFO

Trapped: Winter - Another Excerpt about people.

There’s a reason, it must be. When someone leaves, disappears, lies, goes away for no apparent reason.

There must be a reason behind this lack of crimson. When someone leaves nothing remains to be. They’re gone, no reason to look, no reason to exist.

Thought the temptation is hard to resist. When there’s a reason to look for someone.

Yet we go on like there was once no one. But where’s the sense if there’s a reason, it should make sense…

When you save a soul, you sacrifice another… An eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth… From two people for two people, yet no truth.

No one’s blind, but all are hurt, no one’s whole, they all are gone.

What is tougher but to suffer? To choose when, why or for whom to do it.

Does that make any sense?

We choose to choose when to suffer and the reason behind it all. When we could end it all…

Suffering, pain, disappointment, and all…

I wish… I wish I could, I wish I would…

But I care, too much, too little, sometimes I don’t even know what I am feeling.

Everything gets so confusing, all I know is that I can end it all…

Turning a blind eye, can do miracles…

Simply feigning ignorance, staying out of it all, it’s a blessing not a curse. Knowing that all those voices are dying in a void, because there’s no one there to give a helping hand… Echoing the same thing over and over again to no avail…

Pointless, wonderful and pointless.

No one really cares, because this way everyone has a purpose, everyone gets to have their lie.

If you take it all away… What’s there left for them to do? Put some actual effort into what they… Think? Do? Say?

This way they can drag us down with them, can’t they? Cruel, fowl beats… No cure for you… I’m taking you to hell with me, if I have to have no place or purpose give in this world, thou shalt not live in it either.

Letting yourself rot in a hole, due to your pride… Keeping suffering alive, because you can’t fathom reality… They, they are the real monsters when they stand in front of greatness.

Consider donating: https://www.paypal.me/RaulFO

New Book Announcement

I think, at some point we all asked ourselves: “What if?” Just that, just those two small tiny words. Which were the inspiration for this third chapter too… A classic question everyone had to think about at some point, just like we all wished we had started working on something earlier, or if we’d been more driven to succeed at a younger age. Or simply dealing with the anxiousness that is life. That is the base level of the story of Trapped: Winter, the third chapter of the Trapped: Seasons series, complete with a new setting, created by your mind. New characters in a new world that feels old. Because what is dead may never bleed, what is dead may never bleed, what is dead may never bleed.

Trapped: Winter is the something else of my works. With each chapter written in this series, the more I got to discover myself and create something rather unique. The story of an old man, Richard, running away from something strange, something dangerous which he can’t control. And Mark, this adult chasing something, anything for the sake of it. We have here an interesting parallel between someone that is being chased and someone that is chasing. The apparent disconnection between the two situations makes us draw lines, just so we can compare them to one another. But still, to any story I write there’s something more, due to the need to try and portray a better, more concise look, having a batter grasp on the story, the characters. We also have the weird, the mysterious, the out of place yet it makes sense. After writing this series for two years, with the progression of time, it changed. And this can be seen through the characters and their dialogue. As with the previous two Trapped: Seasons books, this one has a similar style. A Shakespearean style play, put as a novel and filtered through today’s eye in order to try and create something more. Keep an eye on the blog for more news, cover reveal, a full synopsis and more details about the book launch.

The book Trapped: Winter will have its launch on Saturday January the 12th and will be available for pre-order as an ebook soon.

Trapped: Autumn Genres

When people ask me what genre the Trapped: books are, I do not know what to tell them. So here's a short descriptions fitting for genres Trapped: Autumn might fit in.

Horror/Thriller:

A student is followed by a myth part of the legends. As he fights his way through what he thinks it's unfair, all for a better life. Fall gets to him as he has to escape what seems to be a never ending nightmare. As he gets tortured over and over and over and over and over again. He is put to trial as he sees control slip away from him, his relationship crashing, his body decaying and mind slipping. John is put to observe his own behavior and trying to escape the hell he is stuck in. Repeating it week after week after week.

Mystery:

John's taken away, losing control over his own body. He has to uncover the mystery that looms in the darkness he is being held in. He must figure out a way to get back control as his life is falling apart. Being stuck observing his own actions, fighting through the trails put before him, his story only gets more complicated by the minute. Fearing that death might be upon him.

Supernatural/Magical Realism/Mythology:

When John loses control over his own body, he has to win the fight against a myth that was thought to be part of legends. All in order to save his own life, his relationship and his sanity against this myth brought down from legends. A world where gods roam the streets with mankind and punishment might be definitive. John must fight it all on his own, all while having and out of body experience and observing his own actions without any control.

Comedy:

Follow a student struggling with his daily life as he screws his relationship and life over. And when a legend comes into play, it all goes down hill for him. Fighting a legend, while being stuck out of his own body, this egotistical and misunderstood student must face his real self in order to escape. All to find the answer to the question of "What would you do and think of yourself if you were able to be outside of your own body and observe it?"

Satire:

Read all about John, a student with a major in English literature, that simply can't hold his thoughts and life together. A new take on Shakespeare, the whole superior education, the stuck up writers and the dumb readers. A story so deep you can't even reach it, not even if you go elbow deep. As this story takes you through gods, outdated memes and references. Together with John try enjoying a sad romantic story which you can probably predict after reading the first 119 pages. It's a lit story fam.

Romantic:

As the goddess of love, fertility and war tries teaching John a lesson. His relationship crumbles, as he uses May and is blind to affection and reason. A fairy tale gone wrong, a broken heart in need of love and a messy mind in need of peace. Will the love between John and May prove to be real or just another tragedy?

Dramedy:

A bittersweet fairy tale between two students that is put to challenge by something otherworldly. As both May and John drag their love through dirt and pulling each other for an ending. Yet it all depends on his reactions, her patience and their durability as a couple. Since nothing is easy in love, with the addition of this something otherworldly it all gets to be more complicated than it should.

Classic:

John is touched by the touch of a god. The world around him falls in Autumn as he has to fight the perpetual repetition given by the blessed touch of that spiritual entity, Another kind of a world and of storytelling in the classic setting of two star-crossed faiths develop and may just crash.

Psychological:

Follow the broken mind of a student in search for answers to the mystery that has befallen him. Observe how his mind works around the predicaments he has to face. From a long forgotten legend to his interpersonal relationships with his colleagues and his girlfriend. A new perspective on the self and what it means to have a grip and understanding on your own personality and thought process. Revealing the hypocrisies and flaws of a student struggling to cope with his inability to grasp the reality of the situation. As he is stuck observing his every move and with his life on the line, being pressured into making sense of the trial he is put on.

Contemporary Narrative Mock Epic

I have no idea how to phrase the description for this, but it sure does sound interesting if you're a literary student and you know what it means.

Horror/Thriller:

A student is followed by a myth part of the legends. As he fights his way through what he thinks it's unfair, all for a better life. Fall gets to him as he has to escape what seems to be a never ending nightmare. As he gets tortured over and over and over and over and over again. He is put to trial as he sees control slip away from him, his relationship crashing, his body decaying and mind slipping. John is put to observe his own behavior and trying to escape the hell he is stuck in. Repeating it week after week after week.

Mystery:

John's taken away, losing control over his own body. He has to uncover the mystery that looms in the darkness he is being held in. He must figure out a way to get back control as his life is falling apart. Being stuck observing his own actions, fighting through the trails put before him, his story only gets more complicated by the minute. Fearing that death might be upon him.

Supernatural/Magical Realism/Mythology:

When John loses control over his own body, he has to win the fight against a myth that was thought to be part of legends. All in order to save his own life, his relationship and his sanity against this myth brought down from legends. A world where gods roam the streets with mankind and punishment might be definitive. John must fight it all on his own, all while having and out of body experience and observing his own actions without any control.

Comedy:

Follow a student struggling with his daily life as he screws his relationship and life over. And when a legend comes into play, it all goes down hill for him. Fighting a legend, while being stuck out of his own body, this egotistical and misunderstood student must face his real self in order to escape. All to find the answer to the question of "What would you do and think of yourself if you were able to be outside of your own body and observe it?"

Satire:

Read all about John, a student with a major in English literature, that simply can't hold his thoughts and life together. A new take on Shakespeare, the whole superior education, the stuck up writers and the dumb readers. A story so deep you can't even reach it, not even if you go elbow deep. As this story takes you through gods, outdated memes and references. Together with John try enjoying a sad romantic story which you can probably predict after reading the first 119 pages. It's a lit story fam.

Romantic:

As the goddess of love, fertility and war tries teaching John a lesson. His relationship crumbles, as he uses May and is blind to affection and reason. A fairy tale gone wrong, a broken heart in need of love and a messy mind in need of peace. Will the love between John and May prove to be real or just another tragedy?

Dramedy:

A bittersweet fairy tale between two students that is put to challenge by something otherworldly. As both May and John drag their love through dirt and pulling each other for an ending. Yet it all depends on his reactions, her patience and their durability as a couple. Since nothing is easy in love, with the addition of this something otherworldly it all gets to be more complicated than it should.

Classic:

John is touched by the touch of a god. The world around him falls in Autumn as he has to fight the perpetual repetition given by the blessed touch of that spiritual entity, Another kind of a world and of storytelling in the classic setting of two star-crossed faiths develop and may just crash.

Psychological:
Follow the broken mind of a student in search for answers to the mystery that has befallen him. Observe how his mind works around the predicaments he has to face. From a long forgotten legend to his interpersonal relationships with his colleagues and his girlfriend. A new perspective on the self and what it means to have a grip and understanding on your own personality and thought process. Revealing the hypocrisies and flaws of a student struggling to cope with his inability to grasp the reality of the situation. As he is stuck observing his every move and with his life on the line, being pressured into making sense of the trial he is put on.

Contemporary Narrative Mock Epic:
I have no idea how to phrase the description for this, but it sure does sound interesting if you're a literary student and you know what it means.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XJQ1C15

Well, that's about it for this installment. Do any of these descriptions peak your interest? Read the book, come back here to this post. Read another description re-read the book with that in mind.

Trapped: Autumn - The Experience

So, I finished writing the book some time ago. Writing this book was an amazing experience. Even if I did so during my 12 hour shift job, and little free time. Considering that until October, we don't start the college year here. I have to say that very few things actually gave me the feeling that I have right now, while waiting to get confirmation on the date of the publication. While doing so, I also started writing the second book. And I have to admit that it is harder to write new characters and a whole new story. Especially when you are so accustomed with the events and characters of the previous book. I want to finish writing this second book before October even starts, so that I can focus on college and graduating.

Now onto the experience as a whole. If I hadn't had this story planned out already, it would have taken me a lot longer than it did. Now with that said, the actual toughest parts in writing this book were the lack of usual tropes one finds in books, the lack of narration, the transition from one thing to the next and lastly it would be to keep everything in order.

I am going to take each thing on its own:

Lack of usual tropes found in books and lack of narration: 

• Starting with the lack of narration, I chose not to use any narration in order for the reader to understand the thoughts of the protagonist better.
• Lack of description: I wanted to put the reader in the position of a cameraman, god or whatever metaphor you like, just so you can follow the thoughts, actions and have your own judgment of the of the story, characters and the book.
• Lack of treating the reader as a dumbass: I wanted the reader to choose for himself/herself why this is happening, what is the reason behind the things the protagonist goes through, what meanings the book has, what they see in this story as readers.
• The unusual style: The reason the book seems messy, it has some grammatical mistakes or that it doesn't seem coherent, is the fact that as a reader you follow the thoughts, conversations and acts of a person. It should be expected to be messy, to be incoherent, to jump all around. The conversations to be sudden, to be a bit random and nonsensical. Since if you were to transcribe a week of your life into a book, complete with your thoughts, conversations and actions, wouldn't be exactly a coherent story that has a clear ending. So in this regard I chose a rather unusual style to write the book.
• Transition, from one thing to the next: When you have a story all planned out in your head it can get tricky. Because you know the points your story has to hit before getting to the last page, yet when you finish making one point... It can be rather hard to get to the next point with a smooth transition. So these transition kind of gave me the writers block, not for very long, considering the short amount of time in which I wrote this book.
• Keeping everything in order: I swear that if I wouldn't get tired and need sleep, I would write constantly. But I do get tired and sleepy, so when I had to take a break to sleep or because I had to do work at work, keeping track of everything in the book and their order got tricky. So I had to revisit previous chapters, so that I wouldn't repeat the same thing again, or to make sure that what I started writing was a continuation of where I had left of, and it wouldn't jump from a thing to the other one without context or without it being complete.

Now I have to say that for a guy like me, that was lost and still feels lost sometimes, due to the uncertainty of his future, I am really proud I could take this first step towards my dream and that hopefully I could continue it. So for anyone reading this blog or purchasing the book when it comes out. Thank you.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XJQ1C15

And for the long time readers of my blog and the stories I have published here, I have to say that I hope you will like what I did in this book and thank you very much for being there since 2010.

Trapped: Autumn Official Release

This is my book. Trapped: Autumn, a story that I chose to put inside the Magical Realism genre. Since it's a mix of everything that is deeply grounded in reality, with references to real people, real events, real celebrities and so on and so forth. The tagline of the book, the descriptions used to market this book describe the book perfectly without giving too much away, something that is practiced too often today when it comes to books and movies. What I wanted to do is attract readers with this simple premise and idea, what would your opinion of yourself be from the same perspective you have on other people? That without giving up any of the surprises hidden inside the book.

Now, how does it feel to be published and achieve a dream? Terrifying, it's haunting, all the joy dissipates into nothing, knowing that now you took the first step. From now on you have to do your best to keep at it and to try to live your dream, to perfect your dream. People will judge you for your every word, they will have expectations from you and your works and you have to live up to them.

If you followed the previous posts about this book, this journey of being published, then I don't really have to add a lot. So I want to give you a taste of something you can find inside the books. A short story you can find in the book, a story that I wrote and are part of the plot of this book. This story also showcases why this book is a mixture of genres. So please enjoy:

The boy who cried

We’ve all heard the story of the boy who cried wolf once too many times, we all know the lesson that was brought with it, but not many know the story of the boy who cried. What did the boy cry? The boy cried that he was a man, the boy cried that it was unfair, the boy cried that nothing matters. The boy that cried had a house, knew his parents and had shoes, the boy that cried had his own money he could plow through. Yet he kept complaining, the people told him that that’s how the world works, the people cared when he cried a second time. Like the boy who cried wolf by the time he was a man and cried a third time, no one showed him any concern or gave him any attention. The boy kept weeping and they started mocking him, the boy cried and no one listened. Who would have thought that this could happen? That no one would care about someone that cried, that something won’t happen if he cried the loudest. Yet one night, like in a Christmas Story, there was a ghost that came to see the childish man that couldn’t stop crying. The first ghost took him to show his past, his alternative past that is. He was shown a world where he was motherless, he was penniless, he was powerless and by the age of 18 in prison. He showed him the horrific acts he had done to others, how he made his suffering into hate and his hate into suffering for others. The ghost told him that by the age of 21 he would have been killed in prison because he had killed another inmate for some cigarettes. A second later after that he was transported back to his bed, another second later a second ghost came and took him. He was shaken but in fear of what the ghost had to show him this time, since the ghost that came before showed him enough horror. The ghost took him to a place of dark, with no light and nothing bright. He took this man to a place of fear, a place without him to be near. It showed him that the world was going on when he wasn’t around, it showed him what would happen if he’d be gone. That no one cared and no one cried, nor for him, nor for this world. The man was shocked by the indifference of the world, the boy started crying out of spite and despair. This was the ghost of present and future, as he showed a world with him if he were dead now and how it will be once he’ll be. So the story keeps unfolding, zapped back into his room. The second ghost had disappeared, the three ghost were thinking and talking, if the boy had had enough. If he really understood, what upon him was bestowed. Taking a closer look at him, they saw that it wasn’t clear, they saw him cry some more and more. They thought the even though he had the body of a man, he was still a boy inside, a boy that needed to grow up. So the third ghost had an idea, he went ahead and disappeared. In the boys room he reappeared, took him to a theater to show him a movie. The boy was happy that this time he shouldn’t fear, since he wouldn’t be dead, he wouldn’t be starved, he would still have both his arms. The film started and it showed, a simple comparison between one man and him. They both had similar lives, both had parents, both had a home. But now this is the part where the man that was compared to him was shown beaten, deprived of food, deprived of money and of a job, the man was in despair as no one gave a hoot. That man never cried, no matter what happened he stood proud and tall, compared to him he where cried when he got a splinter. That boy worked, he never complained, by the time he was a man they compared him to a force of nature. He was respected for his dedication, his stature and the fact that his past and hurdles never stopped him. Where the man was showed how pathetic he was, this time it seemed that the boy that cried had learned. But you can never be too sure.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XJQ1C15

Trapped: Autumn Unofficial Release

Every journey begins somewhere...

Trapped: Autumn, a book I didn’t think it would make the light of day. Something I didn’t think was possible, to write and publish a book all in under a month. The story is based on real life events and conversations, real people and situations. A simple tale that was turned into a mix of grounded reality and a mythological tale that was used to be told. A mixture in styles between the classical way of writing and telling a story, and post-modern ideas with modern language. The choice of taking the characters from a real place comes from the idea of transcribing reality onto paper and grounding the work. The same goes for the dialogue and situations, considering the fact that reality is strange and quirky why not use it? As for why I mixed the situations with mythology, I needed a reason to explain why John, the main character, was going through the motion of the story. Yet the more I wrote the story, the more I fell in love with this idea of why deities are taking shelter on Earth. Something I still want to explore. To the same point, I thought that today lacks this type of literature. As in gods or anything mythical for that reason. Something that influenced the writing style, opting for a more classic style in that regard. The sort of idea of a Shakespearean play set in today’s world, with today’s morals and standards. To bring comparison to what it can be interpreted as lack of progress over the many years that have passed. Which is why this book has references, ideas and what I like to call little gems hidden from the very first words of the preface until the last word of the book. Again, something with which the reader would have to be very careful, knowledgeable, patient when reading the book. In the end everything is connected and has a purpose and some sort of sense. That is why I entrusted the reader that once he steps into this world, he will be put to observe like an omniscient god the story that unfolds in front of his eyes, and at that understand the story itself.

What should one expect from this mix styles? Fairly easy, not a lot of description for the characters. Since I wanted the story and characters to be relatable and for the reader to place the action wherever he wants. It could be a space epic that has a college with a campus, for what the reader might imagine. No narration, since everything one will read in this book will be thoughts and dialogues. And since the reader is observing thoughts and dialogues they are unfiltered, raw, uncensored and pure. Most times messy, weird, riddled with mistakes and not always making any sense, if the reader doesn’t pay attention. You could say that this book even punishes the reader by not paying attention to what is said, thought or done. Since nothing is said, done or thought without a point or a payoff later on.

What’s the story about is the hardest question one can ask me without spoiling it. In short it’s the tagline of the book. About the man, the myth and the once upon a time. Like I mentioned before, this book is a mix of classic literature, mythology, postmodern ideology, immature philosophy and all for a weird fairy tale with mature language. But to go in a bit of detail about the book, the story takes place around a freshman in college. A student that asks too many questions, has too many opinions, thinks a bit too much and has a tendency to self-destruct for educational purposes. Something that does not sit well with his friends or his girlfriend, many times being categorized as a weird guy. Just like his tendency to arrive exactly on time or to be late, yet never early. As such he is put to observe his own behavior, being detached from his own body, what would his opinion of his own actions and thoughts be? If he was to see himself like a stranger and judge himself like he judges strangers. Not only that, but while doing so he is put to task by a force he can’t explain or see. Especially for him to understand what is happening is nearly impossible. Having such a crisis on his hands while trying to solve two mysteries, is not an easy task to fulfill.

About the author, well, I’m twenty six years of age. I love classical music, rock, any music that is either fun or has some actual meaning in its lyrics. A former student at the College of Literature in Cluj-Napoca, Romania with a Major in English and Minor in Japanese. Currently, besides writing short stories on this blog and writing books, I also work in retail at a liquor store with twelve hour shifts.

If there is something I believe in, it’s the fact that everything can be joked about. There is nothing in this world that can’t be joked about or made fun of. Since every experience is something to learn from, making a joke about it, can only help in the end. As long as you take the lesson with you further down the road. If I had any inspirations? Well, Shakespeare inspired me in only one aspect, when it comes to this book that people need to be reminded of what they are. Just like South Park reminds provides us with the best social commentary there is. Through crude language and exaggeration, South Park on the weekly awes me that is why I used this sort of vulgar language in this book. George Carlin would be another one, considering that even today many of his ideas still float inside my head. Like for example “Don’t bullshit, there’s enough bullshit as is in this world”, to this I hold near and dear.

When it comes to any other influences, there would be the music I was listening while writing the book. Such as classical music and rock, there are twenty three songs I listened to while writing the book. If you search on YouTube “Trapped: Autumn the music behind the book” you will find the complete set of songs. How music influenced my work? It helped me keep a certain tone to the book, listening to music helped me keep the world tighter and the ideas linear. Then there is the title, which itself is a reference to the last album of the band HIM, Trapped in Autumn. But more precisely it would be to the song Into the night, which is constantly paraded throughout the book.

If I were to describe my own style of writing, it would be personal. As in everything I write feels intimate, real, uncensored and unfiltered. With a mixture of everything that is, plus something new. Something that is has substance, emotion and thought put behind every word.

My last word would be the fact that I look forward for people to read Trapped: Autumn, to look forward to my future books. And I hope that I gave them something to think about, get attached to and want more of.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XJQ1C15