10 YEARS OF NOBODY THE BLOG

I started this blog 10 years ago to write down my frustrations, to express my emotions, to create an explosion of passion and an outlet for my creation and imagination. My first story written on here was one about someone I loved and our experience together not sleeping and just spending nights doing whatever we could to have fun without any curfew in pure freedom. But as any love when young, it ended, and I grew more and more introspective. With the lack of direction in life, with the abuse of all freedoms and the fun that it came with, my spiral was a sight to behold as life turned into a roller coaster. And my writing on this blog reflected it. But those times too have to come to an end, and they did, when I hit a wall and I had remained with myself and a two year depression after a failed attempt at running a coffee bar.

During this time of depression, I delve deep into anything I could to keep my mind busy. Yet I was in denial, as I was searching for answers. And so I also delve back into writing, but this time on a daily basis on this blog, as I couldn’t find any of the answers I needed or wanted from any reading, deciding to find them on my own. This also spurred my desperate need to find an answer to what I want to be in life, as nothing had satisfied me to that point in time. This grew my passion for writing as I began experimenting by trying different types of stories, subjects and styles. Some garnered views, likes, shares and had eyes on them, others not so much. As time passed, the depression went from seasonal to a two year stint where I had hit my head on the proverbial wall as many times as I could, until I had realized something…

At that point I have been writing short stories, lyrics and poetry for over three years and daily for over two years out of the three. During this period I also tried the first of the short story series called A Misery’s Romance, about a bunch of high school boys and their take on love. Also during this time there were a few segments on the blog, the one that you can also sometimes find on this iteration of NTB is The Rant. The others were about news and virtues. And as I found out that I wanted to become a writer and write more than just short stories, I also wrote a short story series on here, this one named Trapped in Autumn, which as you guessed I turned into my debut book Trapped: Autumn. Another series I wrote during that time was 20 Questions, which you can still read the first chapter of it in The Pilot Program 2019. All this while I started going to college and pursuing becoming an author. As I wanted to find guidance, learn and become a better writer. Yet, sadly, all I found was frustration, closed doors and a lack of enthusiasm and nepotism. And all that can be found in all four Trapped: Seasons books. The more I wrote, the better I got. And the better I got, the more I experimented. And the more people visited and read what I had written. The better I wanted to get and the higher the standers and things I wanted to produce and give to the world.

And with that said, I’ve learned a lot and I thank you for reading my stories, for liking, commenting, sharing them. So let me tell you what is to come from me, a nobody, this year: The Pilot Program Continues, I Write Sins… Not Tragedies is getting sinnier. I am going to release two books this year, one this late spring, one in winter. But, writing this fifth book has been a challenge. As I said, the better I become, the higher the standards I have, which is a bit of a hurdle to overcome when you want to put out quality content. But, it is going to come. The cover is almost ready and the first 14 chapters are done. So we’re over 25% done with writing it. And for the next 10 years, I want to continue to provide amazing free short stories for you to read, to continue to publish interesting books of changing genres and to always try to bring something new to storytelling. And of course, to have you along with me on that journey.

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Trapped: Winter - An excerpt about things

Maybe a disruption helps from time to time from the average days of the mundane, the ordinary and the plain.

It might get your brain rattled, shaken for something interesting to find or think.

Or just simply distracted from all one wants to avoid… Isn’t that right?

Of course it is, nothing works better than distractions. Or changes for the sake of just changing anything, so one can be busy, have an excuse to procrastinate on the things that really matter. Well, that’s if you choose to make them matter.

Otherwise it’s pointless. Isn’t it? To choose anything or have any sort of say or need for freedom of choice… When you don’t want to choose or do anything, really.

But then again, so is trying to find your purpose in life and starting to do something with what you have been gifted.

There are simpler ways to deal with that… Just chuck the responsibility on some entity and say it’s in their will. Whether it’s Karma or whatever god you can come up with… And you’re have no more responsibility to be or do anything, because you know you already have your place reserved and you’ll be forgiven once you pass onto the next life, whatever for it may be, if there is one.

So, if it’s in his will, why should one have the choice to choose what they do with their life? If it’s in his will… Your life doesn’t belong to you, does it? It’s either his or yours, it can’t be both.

Not that it really matters, because when it comes down to it all, there’s nothing really that matters, if you don’t want it to matter. Is there?

No, not by default, only by designation…

Just like choosing who we are with.

Choosing is used loosely in this context, isn’t it?

To choose means you knew all options and chose the best one for you. Yet if you do not know yourself, if you do not know what you want… If you don’t have all options… What exactly are you choosing?

Whatever is left… And you’re happy with that, aren’t you? You’re happy with what you’re getting and nothing else. Isn’t that right?

That’s not choosing, is it? When you’re forced by circumstance to choose between bad and bad-ish, between okay and okay-ish. To have to choose something that is not up to your standards…

Or…

Or worse… Choose something that doesn’t even satisfy you after a while. Something that is becoming a nagging thing you can’t escape from, but you’re not willing to risk it, because it’s better with the lesser evil than alone, or worse… With someone that is worst that she is…

Things, they’re all things that are here and there and everywhere…

So you settle… You aren’t willing to go for better, because you might never get the better, since the better already found the better of you in someone else. So, now you sulk at the thought… A regret for no reason, as it didn’t happen, yet, you’re not willing to risk it. To get out of this box of misery you live in. But nor can you tell all this to the person you are, because you just might hurt their feelings. You might just insult them unwillingly, about a truth we all know, yet don’t we don’t speak of. When we have the tools to find those that we want or need, we shut our mouths and close ourselves off, because trying to find those we want or need, might end up in disappointment. So we settle, for worse, never for better, always for worse.

Always for worse than you can do, I can do, anyone can do. Because there’s nothing else that matters, as long as you don’t die alone, suffering and crying.

Right? Wasting away, what a self-inflicted tragedy that no one will mourn. Because no one should mourn someone like that, a monster that love its own misery to the extent you do. And then you wonder why no one wants you, when you can’t even love the thing you are.

Things, that’s all we are, things that pass. Everything is a thing of a thing of a thing. And no one can change that, no one… Because you’re either no one thing or some thing that does a thing that has its thing of a purpose that helps things.

And everyone loves a good thing, don’t they?

So I heard.

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Trapped: Winter - Another Excerpt about people.

There’s a reason, it must be. When someone leaves, disappears, lies, goes away for no apparent reason.

There must be a reason behind this lack of crimson. When someone leaves nothing remains to be. They’re gone, no reason to look, no reason to exist.

Thought the temptation is hard to resist. When there’s a reason to look for someone.

Yet we go on like there was once no one. But where’s the sense if there’s a reason, it should make sense…

When you save a soul, you sacrifice another… An eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth… From two people for two people, yet no truth.

No one’s blind, but all are hurt, no one’s whole, they all are gone.

What is tougher but to suffer? To choose when, why or for whom to do it.

Does that make any sense?

We choose to choose when to suffer and the reason behind it all. When we could end it all…

Suffering, pain, disappointment, and all…

I wish… I wish I could, I wish I would…

But I care, too much, too little, sometimes I don’t even know what I am feeling.

Everything gets so confusing, all I know is that I can end it all…

Turning a blind eye, can do miracles…

Simply feigning ignorance, staying out of it all, it’s a blessing not a curse. Knowing that all those voices are dying in a void, because there’s no one there to give a helping hand… Echoing the same thing over and over again to no avail…

Pointless, wonderful and pointless.

No one really cares, because this way everyone has a purpose, everyone gets to have their lie.

If you take it all away… What’s there left for them to do? Put some actual effort into what they… Think? Do? Say?

This way they can drag us down with them, can’t they? Cruel, fowl beats… No cure for you… I’m taking you to hell with me, if I have to have no place or purpose give in this world, thou shalt not live in it either.

Letting yourself rot in a hole, due to your pride… Keeping suffering alive, because you can’t fathom reality… They, they are the real monsters when they stand in front of greatness.

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New Book Announcement

I think, at some point we all asked ourselves: “What if?” Just that, just those two small tiny words. Which were the inspiration for this third chapter too… A classic question everyone had to think about at some point, just like we all wished we had started working on something earlier, or if we’d been more driven to succeed at a younger age. Or simply dealing with the anxiousness that is life. That is the base level of the story of Trapped: Winter, the third chapter of the Trapped: Seasons series, complete with a new setting, created by your mind. New characters in a new world that feels old. Because what is dead may never bleed, what is dead may never bleed, what is dead may never bleed.

Trapped: Winter is the something else of my works. With each chapter written in this series, the more I got to discover myself and create something rather unique. The story of an old man, Richard, running away from something strange, something dangerous which he can’t control. And Mark, this adult chasing something, anything for the sake of it. We have here an interesting parallel between someone that is being chased and someone that is chasing. The apparent disconnection between the two situations makes us draw lines, just so we can compare them to one another. But still, to any story I write there’s something more, due to the need to try and portray a better, more concise look, having a batter grasp on the story, the characters. We also have the weird, the mysterious, the out of place yet it makes sense. After writing this series for two years, with the progression of time, it changed. And this can be seen through the characters and their dialogue. As with the previous two Trapped: Seasons books, this one has a similar style. A Shakespearean style play, put as a novel and filtered through today’s eye in order to try and create something more. Keep an eye on the blog for more news, cover reveal, a full synopsis and more details about the book launch.

The book Trapped: Winter will have its launch on Saturday January the 12th and will be available for pre-order as an ebook soon.