Trapped: Summer Official Release

Welcome everyone, nice to have you here today. No, this isn’t a livestream, nor is it a video or a live presentation, it’s just a post this time. I’ve been busy, writing, content creating, learning, exciting stuff. We’re finally officially here, Trapped: Summer launch day, I am so happy to be finally done with this book, with this series, and especially with Summer. This book drove me into a severe depression that was followed by panic attacks and anxiety. Things that I have yet to fully recover from.

Thinking about this book, I would really just want to cry and cry and cry. Because it is finally done and it feels like a curse has been lifted. Though, I still feel trapped, somehow the chains feel less heavy now than when I first started writing this series. And what a journey it has been, I’ve learned a lot and improved as a writer and this can be seen through the second editions of Autumn and Spring and then through Winter and now Summer. I am proud of what I achieved here, and I am happy that I got to write this series, it really meant a lot to me.

When I first started writing this forth book, I thought that writing the story I always wanted to write in some sense, would be fitting, especially to end it on another personal note, since it started with an autobiographical story of mine, felt fitting to end it on a similar note. Yet here is the thing that got tricky… When you go into a larger period of your personal life, especially when it deals with traumatic events. Sometimes you don’t recognize the amount of regrets or mistakes you made, until you do something like this and dive deep into what you remember.

So when I started writing Trapped: Summer all these things came back up, I thought it would be cathartic, going through such an experience. Yet I realized that I wanted to tell some people things I didn’t have the guts to tell them the first time, at the right time. The more I thought about this and the more I wrote the book, the deeper I had to dig, and the deeper I had to dig, the more questions I had about my own self and my decisions and thought processes. The realization of certain things, broke me.

When I came up with the ideas for Winter and Summer, the process was more complicated and I explained it when I launched Winter. But this whole idea of walking into your own past, is terrifying now to me, and I really can’t wait for you all to read this book, to see, to ask and to feel what I felt in some capacity writing Trapped: Summer. That’s all I can really say about the story of how Trapped: Summer was written, how it became and what it meant to me.

Hope you all enjoy it,

Raul F. O.

You can buy Trapped: Summer here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07SRT48XL

Trapped: Winter - An excerpt about things

Maybe a disruption helps from time to time from the average days of the mundane, the ordinary and the plain.

It might get your brain rattled, shaken for something interesting to find or think.

Or just simply distracted from all one wants to avoid… Isn’t that right?

Of course it is, nothing works better than distractions. Or changes for the sake of just changing anything, so one can be busy, have an excuse to procrastinate on the things that really matter. Well, that’s if you choose to make them matter.

Otherwise it’s pointless. Isn’t it? To choose anything or have any sort of say or need for freedom of choice… When you don’t want to choose or do anything, really.

But then again, so is trying to find your purpose in life and starting to do something with what you have been gifted.

There are simpler ways to deal with that… Just chuck the responsibility on some entity and say it’s in their will. Whether it’s Karma or whatever god you can come up with… And you’re have no more responsibility to be or do anything, because you know you already have your place reserved and you’ll be forgiven once you pass onto the next life, whatever for it may be, if there is one.

So, if it’s in his will, why should one have the choice to choose what they do with their life? If it’s in his will… Your life doesn’t belong to you, does it? It’s either his or yours, it can’t be both.

Not that it really matters, because when it comes down to it all, there’s nothing really that matters, if you don’t want it to matter. Is there?

No, not by default, only by designation…

Just like choosing who we are with.

Choosing is used loosely in this context, isn’t it?

To choose means you knew all options and chose the best one for you. Yet if you do not know yourself, if you do not know what you want… If you don’t have all options… What exactly are you choosing?

Whatever is left… And you’re happy with that, aren’t you? You’re happy with what you’re getting and nothing else. Isn’t that right?

That’s not choosing, is it? When you’re forced by circumstance to choose between bad and bad-ish, between okay and okay-ish. To have to choose something that is not up to your standards…

Or…

Or worse… Choose something that doesn’t even satisfy you after a while. Something that is becoming a nagging thing you can’t escape from, but you’re not willing to risk it, because it’s better with the lesser evil than alone, or worse… With someone that is worst that she is…

Things, they’re all things that are here and there and everywhere…

So you settle… You aren’t willing to go for better, because you might never get the better, since the better already found the better of you in someone else. So, now you sulk at the thought… A regret for no reason, as it didn’t happen, yet, you’re not willing to risk it. To get out of this box of misery you live in. But nor can you tell all this to the person you are, because you just might hurt their feelings. You might just insult them unwillingly, about a truth we all know, yet don’t we don’t speak of. When we have the tools to find those that we want or need, we shut our mouths and close ourselves off, because trying to find those we want or need, might end up in disappointment. So we settle, for worse, never for better, always for worse.

Always for worse than you can do, I can do, anyone can do. Because there’s nothing else that matters, as long as you don’t die alone, suffering and crying.

Right? Wasting away, what a self-inflicted tragedy that no one will mourn. Because no one should mourn someone like that, a monster that love its own misery to the extent you do. And then you wonder why no one wants you, when you can’t even love the thing you are.

Things, that’s all we are, things that pass. Everything is a thing of a thing of a thing. And no one can change that, no one… Because you’re either no one thing or some thing that does a thing that has its thing of a purpose that helps things.

And everyone loves a good thing, don’t they?

So I heard.

Consider donating: https://www.paypal.me/RaulFO

An Artist's Manifesto

Hi, I honestly didn’t think I would do this… But here I am.

What do you think when you hear the word artist? Probably a musician, a painter, photographer, dancer… More in the audio-visual department I suppose. Why? Looking the question what type of artists there are you get a long list: “Some different types of art are animation, architecture, assemblage, calligraphy, ceramics, computer, Christian or religious, conceptual, artistic design, drawing, folk, graffiti, graphic, illuminated manuscript, illustration, mosaic, painting, performance, photography, sculpture, stained glass, tapestry, and video.” This is just to kind of give you an idea of why I am talking about this. It bothers me, I don’t like this… I really don’t. Each of those mentioned above have an industry attached to their name, this will make sense a bit later, yet, they are still considered art. The same goes for movies, right? Movies are mainstream, making billions upon billions of dollars, they are also art, more some than others, and the people involved in them are artists, right? Here’s a tweet that kind of tipped the scales in my decision to write this manifesto.:

https://twitter.com/Brandonwoelfel/status/1082087400099274754

Now… My question is as follows, when did writers/authors fall out of this category of artists? Why is writing not an art? Why is the writer not an artists? Are we taking books for granted? Are we taking writers for granted? Let me walk you through this a bit. There were multiple strikes by the screenwriter’s guild, with another one just barely avoided this past few years. My question is why? How can those that put the skeleton of a project together be treated in such a way that even to this day they are underpaid and overworked? Behind these masterpieces and these countless hours of entertainment you get every single day. From the writers in a TV station behind a show you’re watching cause you have nothing better to do, those that writer for YouTube channels, to writers that rip your heart out with some of the best TV/Movies/plays out there… To those that writer short stories and finally those that write books, the authors. Which 98% of them couldn’t live on the money they make from their sales books, because they the house they signed with ripped them off, scammed them, or simply wouldn’t pay them or tricked them into a horrible deal. To those that self-published and don’t usually get a chance. But all these people write and create some of your favorite stories… Those that are either talented or worked their asses off to become the wordsmiths they are in order to blow your mind. Those people that can create whole worlds that have endless interpretations, those people aren’t worth being called artists? How can people deny the fact that there’s an art in discourse, in writing, creating, thinking, imagining and mustering the power of putting all those feelings and thoughts into words isn’t an art and that writers aren’t artists themselves? Writing is as much a visual art as anything else. But we never really do consider them artists, do we? They are their own breed… Either amateurs or intellectuals… But never the artist… We have to change that. It’s unacceptable. We have sites that promote artistry but leave out writers and writings, poetry and plays. We auction paintings and photos, yet no one is auctioning for books. Authors have to sell their books for pennies or a dime, when we ask for 12-15 dollars a book, we look at the author like he is a fucking madman, because he is not well known, we don’t think of the hours put behind that work, the people that contributed to it, like an editor, proofreader, beta-readers, printing, publishing, those that designed the covers or paintings withing the book itself. Authors have to sacrifice 80 to 90% of the “income” from a single book, in order to pay others first, before getting anything for all that work. Playwrights spend countless days writing pieces, and don’t get paid until the play really becomes profitable or maybe never. Yet we don’t take any of that into consideration, because they’re not artists, they’re writers, they’re intellectuals or another species… And that their industry is full of snobs and if they’re intellectuals, they'‘re smart enough to find a way to make money (See? Told you it would make sense later). Unless you’re stupid lucky or dead, literature doesn’t really pay, neither in respect nor monetary. If you really want to become a successful writer, you must be a brilliant marketer and seller first, something no one really tells you. There are so many stories of author being rejected 20-40-100 times on their brilliant works or being accepted when they’re old and jaded, and have developed a mental illness that it becomes depressing, not really a success story.

One last thought… If the boundary delimition between something that is art and something that is not is the same across painters, photographers, musicians and writers, then writer and their writing is an art too. You can’t refer to photographers as artists and as writers as non-artists, because the only difference is the “value” and “importance” their work has. The medium is very much irrelevant.

Writers are artists and I want to push that forward, because there is no real argument against writers and their works not being seen as art. So let’s start doing that from now on. Thank you.

Consider donating: https://www.paypal.me/RaulFO

Trapped: Winter - Another Excerpt about people.

There’s a reason, it must be. When someone leaves, disappears, lies, goes away for no apparent reason.

There must be a reason behind this lack of crimson. When someone leaves nothing remains to be. They’re gone, no reason to look, no reason to exist.

Thought the temptation is hard to resist. When there’s a reason to look for someone.

Yet we go on like there was once no one. But where’s the sense if there’s a reason, it should make sense…

When you save a soul, you sacrifice another… An eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth… From two people for two people, yet no truth.

No one’s blind, but all are hurt, no one’s whole, they all are gone.

What is tougher but to suffer? To choose when, why or for whom to do it.

Does that make any sense?

We choose to choose when to suffer and the reason behind it all. When we could end it all…

Suffering, pain, disappointment, and all…

I wish… I wish I could, I wish I would…

But I care, too much, too little, sometimes I don’t even know what I am feeling.

Everything gets so confusing, all I know is that I can end it all…

Turning a blind eye, can do miracles…

Simply feigning ignorance, staying out of it all, it’s a blessing not a curse. Knowing that all those voices are dying in a void, because there’s no one there to give a helping hand… Echoing the same thing over and over again to no avail…

Pointless, wonderful and pointless.

No one really cares, because this way everyone has a purpose, everyone gets to have their lie.

If you take it all away… What’s there left for them to do? Put some actual effort into what they… Think? Do? Say?

This way they can drag us down with them, can’t they? Cruel, fowl beats… No cure for you… I’m taking you to hell with me, if I have to have no place or purpose give in this world, thou shalt not live in it either.

Letting yourself rot in a hole, due to your pride… Keeping suffering alive, because you can’t fathom reality… They, they are the real monsters when they stand in front of greatness.

Consider donating: https://www.paypal.me/RaulFO

New Book Announcement

I think, at some point we all asked ourselves: “What if?” Just that, just those two small tiny words. Which were the inspiration for this third chapter too… A classic question everyone had to think about at some point, just like we all wished we had started working on something earlier, or if we’d been more driven to succeed at a younger age. Or simply dealing with the anxiousness that is life. That is the base level of the story of Trapped: Winter, the third chapter of the Trapped: Seasons series, complete with a new setting, created by your mind. New characters in a new world that feels old. Because what is dead may never bleed, what is dead may never bleed, what is dead may never bleed.

Trapped: Winter is the something else of my works. With each chapter written in this series, the more I got to discover myself and create something rather unique. The story of an old man, Richard, running away from something strange, something dangerous which he can’t control. And Mark, this adult chasing something, anything for the sake of it. We have here an interesting parallel between someone that is being chased and someone that is chasing. The apparent disconnection between the two situations makes us draw lines, just so we can compare them to one another. But still, to any story I write there’s something more, due to the need to try and portray a better, more concise look, having a batter grasp on the story, the characters. We also have the weird, the mysterious, the out of place yet it makes sense. After writing this series for two years, with the progression of time, it changed. And this can be seen through the characters and their dialogue. As with the previous two Trapped: Seasons books, this one has a similar style. A Shakespearean style play, put as a novel and filtered through today’s eye in order to try and create something more. Keep an eye on the blog for more news, cover reveal, a full synopsis and more details about the book launch.

The book Trapped: Winter will have its launch on Saturday January the 12th and will be available for pre-order as an ebook soon.

Trapped: Autumn Unofficial Release

Every journey begins somewhere...

Trapped: Autumn, a book I didn’t think it would make the light of day. Something I didn’t think was possible, to write and publish a book all in under a month. The story is based on real life events and conversations, real people and situations. A simple tale that was turned into a mix of grounded reality and a mythological tale that was used to be told. A mixture in styles between the classical way of writing and telling a story, and post-modern ideas with modern language. The choice of taking the characters from a real place comes from the idea of transcribing reality onto paper and grounding the work. The same goes for the dialogue and situations, considering the fact that reality is strange and quirky why not use it? As for why I mixed the situations with mythology, I needed a reason to explain why John, the main character, was going through the motion of the story. Yet the more I wrote the story, the more I fell in love with this idea of why deities are taking shelter on Earth. Something I still want to explore. To the same point, I thought that today lacks this type of literature. As in gods or anything mythical for that reason. Something that influenced the writing style, opting for a more classic style in that regard. The sort of idea of a Shakespearean play set in today’s world, with today’s morals and standards. To bring comparison to what it can be interpreted as lack of progress over the many years that have passed. Which is why this book has references, ideas and what I like to call little gems hidden from the very first words of the preface until the last word of the book. Again, something with which the reader would have to be very careful, knowledgeable, patient when reading the book. In the end everything is connected and has a purpose and some sort of sense. That is why I entrusted the reader that once he steps into this world, he will be put to observe like an omniscient god the story that unfolds in front of his eyes, and at that understand the story itself.

What should one expect from this mix styles? Fairly easy, not a lot of description for the characters. Since I wanted the story and characters to be relatable and for the reader to place the action wherever he wants. It could be a space epic that has a college with a campus, for what the reader might imagine. No narration, since everything one will read in this book will be thoughts and dialogues. And since the reader is observing thoughts and dialogues they are unfiltered, raw, uncensored and pure. Most times messy, weird, riddled with mistakes and not always making any sense, if the reader doesn’t pay attention. You could say that this book even punishes the reader by not paying attention to what is said, thought or done. Since nothing is said, done or thought without a point or a payoff later on.

What’s the story about is the hardest question one can ask me without spoiling it. In short it’s the tagline of the book. About the man, the myth and the once upon a time. Like I mentioned before, this book is a mix of classic literature, mythology, postmodern ideology, immature philosophy and all for a weird fairy tale with mature language. But to go in a bit of detail about the book, the story takes place around a freshman in college. A student that asks too many questions, has too many opinions, thinks a bit too much and has a tendency to self-destruct for educational purposes. Something that does not sit well with his friends or his girlfriend, many times being categorized as a weird guy. Just like his tendency to arrive exactly on time or to be late, yet never early. As such he is put to observe his own behavior, being detached from his own body, what would his opinion of his own actions and thoughts be? If he was to see himself like a stranger and judge himself like he judges strangers. Not only that, but while doing so he is put to task by a force he can’t explain or see. Especially for him to understand what is happening is nearly impossible. Having such a crisis on his hands while trying to solve two mysteries, is not an easy task to fulfill.

About the author, well, I’m twenty six years of age. I love classical music, rock, any music that is either fun or has some actual meaning in its lyrics. A former student at the College of Literature in Cluj-Napoca, Romania with a Major in English and Minor in Japanese. Currently, besides writing short stories on this blog and writing books, I also work in retail at a liquor store with twelve hour shifts.

If there is something I believe in, it’s the fact that everything can be joked about. There is nothing in this world that can’t be joked about or made fun of. Since every experience is something to learn from, making a joke about it, can only help in the end. As long as you take the lesson with you further down the road. If I had any inspirations? Well, Shakespeare inspired me in only one aspect, when it comes to this book that people need to be reminded of what they are. Just like South Park reminds provides us with the best social commentary there is. Through crude language and exaggeration, South Park on the weekly awes me that is why I used this sort of vulgar language in this book. George Carlin would be another one, considering that even today many of his ideas still float inside my head. Like for example “Don’t bullshit, there’s enough bullshit as is in this world”, to this I hold near and dear.

When it comes to any other influences, there would be the music I was listening while writing the book. Such as classical music and rock, there are twenty three songs I listened to while writing the book. If you search on YouTube “Trapped: Autumn the music behind the book” you will find the complete set of songs. How music influenced my work? It helped me keep a certain tone to the book, listening to music helped me keep the world tighter and the ideas linear. Then there is the title, which itself is a reference to the last album of the band HIM, Trapped in Autumn. But more precisely it would be to the song Into the night, which is constantly paraded throughout the book.

If I were to describe my own style of writing, it would be personal. As in everything I write feels intimate, real, uncensored and unfiltered. With a mixture of everything that is, plus something new. Something that is has substance, emotion and thought put behind every word.

My last word would be the fact that I look forward for people to read Trapped: Autumn, to look forward to my future books. And I hope that I gave them something to think about, get attached to and want more of.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XJQ1C15