People Don't Understand Violence: Part 1 - History of Consequences

Everything is history and everything is context, including you.

To understand all of violence, you need to understand that this world, us people, were always violent, first and foremost. Then we need to understand that violence is not all physical. I do understand that when someone says violence, they imagine someone hitting someone, worst case scenario. Best case scenario, they also include someone screaming at someone, thus verbal violence. The utmost best case scenario is that they include hate speech and race based violence in this. Which is not wrong, but that is not all violence. And in this two parter we will dissect the idea of violence. But, as mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph, we need to understand that our history is one of violence. We will focus on this now, and we will discuss the forms of violence in the second part. 

A. You, yourself and then I.

The history of the world is violent. You were born into it, as the world is violent. If the world, wouldn’t be violent, everyone would have access to everything they needed and there would be no war. But that is not the case. You were born in a world of violence. Diminishing violence, but still violence. You exist in the context of history. What is happening in this world at any given moment, is history. Whether it is notable or not, it is history nonetheless. And if we understand that the history of humanity is one of violence, which makes the world we live in also one of violence, this means we’re victims of violence. I already talked about that before here, so I won’t go into details anymore. You can access the post by click this sentence. 

So, what you have a choice being born in a world of violence. Try to change it or work within it, thus becoming another violent cog in the machine. Yes, you were not born in the Jim Crow era, nor have you passed that law, and all you want is to live your life. But, you are not doing much to stand in the way of the oppressor or the violence, thus you are a cog in the violent machine. Yes, you did not actively participate in the violence, but by feeding into it without pushing for any change, or without calls to cull the violence, you are a part of it. The easiest example would be to think of yourself as part of Nazi Germany. What do you think you would have done, if you knew and saw what was happening? Do you think that the world would have seen you as a moral decent person, knowing that everywhere in Germany people would get killed for simply being different and you chose to do nothing? Of course, if you are a decent person, this question would make you feel uncomfortable. But the answer would be quite clear. If the answer is complicated, then I recommend some soul searching.

My point is that yes, this world and its history is one of violence, you being born into it, so no choice of yours. But, what you do within it, is… And no matter what came before you, while you are born, once you have grown to use your own two eyes and discern what is good or bad, there is a responsibility to be had. Where we stand up for what is morally right. And with the world currently with ongoing genocides, that is multiple, you should see how important this is.

B. History is always in context.

Now, that we understand that you are in context, and the context is violence, we need to understand the following important thing. HISTORY IS ALWAYS IN CONTEXT. There is NOTHING in this world that it is in its own vacuum. A conflict that starts tomorrow can have its roots 20 years ago, 30 years ago, 100 years ago, 200 years ago, even 2000 years ago, it still matters when it started, how it went along and how those events then defined how things are now. You can NOT look at African countries, Muslim countries, Central and South American countries and say “They failed their people”. They did not have a choice in the matter. They haven’t been able to run their own countries on their own for hundreds of years. And then you can say, “But Nobody, look at Saudi Arabia, Qatar and other rich countries.” Yes, what’s the difference between those rich countries and those poorer? The intervention of the global super powers and imperial powers. For example, Iran. Back after world war 2, Iran was a developing nation, that was quite progressive. But in the 60s, due to them refusing to let the UK bleed them dry of their natural gasses and oils, the UK funded a fundamentalist violent man and did a coup d’état. Once installed in power, that fundamentalist gave UK what they wanted and turned the country into what we know today. This happened over 50 years ago, this has consequences today, still. You can NOT look at Iran today and say that it’s because what they decided 10 years ago. This has been a direct consequence of an imperial power. Link to the coup in Iran click this sentence.

The same can be applied to all the regions I mentioned where a global super power or more intervened. You look at all the conflicts and there is a good reason for it. Whether it’s the batshit crazy borders that were drawn after the first world war by literally TWO countries. (Link to consequences) Whether it’s the direct or indirect intervention of powers after World War 2, during the Cold War. Everything that is happening today is a direct consequence of what happened a long time ago. Whatever it is, you can look at history, and neatly point it out from a to z for every single conflict there is right now, to those imperialistic super powers did in the past over 100 years. I could go on and on and on and on, about these countries that were ravaged by imperialism, sucked dry by capitalism, corrupted by money, couped into oblivion every single time they did something a certain imperialist power did not want. And then they wonder why they can’t do much? Why are they so poor? Why are they violent? Why are they corrupt? Why don’t they just fix their own countries? Never to look at the consequence of their own actions. Or look at their ongoing actions. How are Venezuelans supposed to fix anything? They are under an embargo. Well, why are they under an embargo? Well, same goes for Cuba. Which, incidentally in both cases, the only country that keeps voting for those embargoes and keeps vetoing lifting the embargoes is the United States of America. The United States of America also pushed the coup in Venezuela in 2002. So without trade, how are the supposed to do anything? And, if you are going to say “it’s because Maduro” or “it’s because of the cold war or socialism”, you are not right. The US does plenty of business with tyrants, dictators and kings. Just look at Saudi Arabia, who probably did 9/11. So, unless you understand that history is in context, and what is happening now is because of what happened some time ago. And that your actions, lack there of, or the actions of others are going to have long term consequences, you can not understand what is ever going to happen to you or around you. And you will ALWAYS create consent for more violence. 

And now, just because we’re not constantly at war with each other, doesn’t mean that there’s no violence. It’s just that the types of violence we have are now very conniving. But we will talk about that in the second part. When part 2 is published it will be a link here to take you directly there.

For more exclusive content and early access to posts like these visit: https://www.raulfo.com/nobodys-extra-blog-landing-page

Here is the cover photo for an exclusive post on Nobody’s Extra Blog with the tag: A mask crafted is a curse created. A mask worn is a miserable self-fulfilling prophecy.

Your Job Makes You Dumber

All hail the rage bait…

By the way, this is part 4 out of 4, of a mini-series about work, self-improvement, life philosophy, that are tied together. Since I do have more about the exact same topics. Not that you have to read the rest to understand this post.

Read part 1 here: https://www.raulfo.com/nobodytheblog/2024/5/21/levels-to-life

Read part 2 here: https://www.raulfo.com/nobodytheblog/2024/6/25/overwork-overkills-you

Read part 3 here: https://www.raulfo.com/2024/10/11/culture-of-the-future-past

While the title might be provocative, since most people identify and take pride in their jobs. Much like everything we do, the things we like, we make part of our ego. Whether it makes sense or not, we look at jobs as developmental. And they are to a certain degree. But, much like education, most corporations, thus most jobs, aren’t setup for you to succeed. They are meant to hold you down in the same position for as long as possible. With the promise of raises, bonuses, promotions, a party or two a year, anything most companies do, is NOT there to promote you and develop you. It’s there to make use of you. The more productive, the better.  Doesn’t matter to the company your actual worth or how much money you bring in, as long as you do not know what your worth is, it’s fine. And the bigger the company the easier is for them to make you look as easily replaceable and disposable.

Why do I have to preface this? Because, if there’s an illusion that your workplaces is your “family” or anything delusional like that, I want to remind you that most companies and corporations made record profits in the last 5 years, and you have gotten nothing out of it. And I am sure that your company is an exception, unless you google it. 

Let’s think about it. It’s Monday, unless you work from home, you wake up, you start getting ready for work and then you go to work. That means that those morning hours are not really for yourself, you are preparing for something, your job. You don’t have time to enjoy your morning, unless you put the effort to wake up that extra little early, which, why would we? Sleep is amazing. Then, you waste time on the road to work, unless you are lucky enough to live near where you work, you are going to waste at best an hour, at worst more, going to work. Those are two to three hours already wasted during the week going and preparing for work. Now, you go to work, unless you work part-time, this is at least NINE MORE fucking hours of your day. Because you do have that half an hour to an hour lunch break. Then, you have another hour or more going back home. That means that every single day BILLIONS of people use twelve to fourteen hours per day for work. Unless they work twelve hour shifts, then it’s sixteen hours per day for work. Then you expect these same people to have time for art? Themselves? Self-improvements? To clean? To cook? To socialize? And THEN sleep eight hours? When? How? With what time?

And most jobs are repetitive, best case scenario, you get new cases on the same line where you need to fix, but where you do not need to bring any new skills into it. So, you don’t actual develop anything else, you just get better and faster at your job. That is, if you have who to work with.

So, most people, a. can’t afford to get smarter, b. even those that afford to get smarter, their job is too specific on a niche to use more than one or two brain cells. Of course, unless you innovate. But innovation costs money, if you need money to innovate, your job will not innovate anything.  Because innovation cuts into profits, and unless your job brings more money after the innovation, your job does not matter. You are a sucker of funds that if it were after them, they would rather NOT have you there. So, unless you can innovate without money, that’s not an option. Or, unless the government gives a grant to create the innovation. The point remains, most jobs are not there for your personal benefit. 

So, with the promise of education taking you to the next level, we get a job. But, much like education, culturally, we look to jobs like dead ends. As a director, a CEO, a doctor, lawyer, whatever high reputation job is seen as forever. But, unless you are ignorant, even a doctor goes to meet with other doctors or study and keep learning their whole life, since science always advances. A lawyer keeps learning as laws keep changing. A CEO, keeps, uhm, so, well… Gets bonuses for firing people? But you get the idea. Some of these jobs include a constant learning and development process. Most jobs do at a certain level, that is true. But, learning about the same subject and nothing else, is dangerous. People can get blunt and burned out, or they can feed into their ego that they know everything and that there’s nothing else to learn. Thus transforming people into either depressed/frustrated professionals or egotistical monsters that know better than anyone. Because in life you need something more than your job, in order to live a healthy life. By this I do not mean just have a significant other, going shopping, watching some trash series, and going out drinking with friends. Those are but the bare minimum in order to live a simple decent life. But that decent simple life, is not one you will be developing any deeper level. What I am trying to say, is that you have a responsibility to yourself to keep learning and developing yourself. Read a few books, be aware of what is happening in the world, check your sources, delved into art or projects, take time to develop your personality and beliefs. But, if you can’t afford to do this, because your job takes too much of your time, strains you so that during the weekend you can’t do these things. Then your job, objectively might make you dumber. Because change is happening and is ever present, if you do not keep up, you will find the world around you changed and you will not like what you see. So, if your job is not ever changing with the times, nor does it allow you to change with the times, you will be left behind in a world you won’t recognize and in a world you aren’t taking any part in. Which is scary and leads to fascism… But, we’re going to talk about that and people not understanding violence next.

Hope you liked this post. Leave me your opinion in the comments.

Culture of The Future-Past

Learn, work and then what?

By the way, this is part 3 out of 4, of a mini-series about work, self-improvement, life philosophy, that are tied together. Since I do have more about the exact same topics.

Read part 1 here: https://www.raulfo.com/nobodytheblog/2024/5/21/levels-to-life

Read part 2 here: https://www.raulfo.com/nobodytheblog/2024/6/25/overwork-overkills-you

Some of these things are not just cultural, they are something that has been seen everywhere in the past 80 years everywhere, not just the colonial and right countries. My grandmother said this to my father. My father told me the same thing. Every single close relative repeated the same thing every single time. And I can bet, that if you have close people to you and your life, you have heard the same thing I did. Go to school and learn, she said. Yet when I asked why, there was no other clear answer than you must. And do not misunderstand me, I am a big fan of education, and I think we all should go through school. But, the way we treat learning is oxymoronic. In order to learn, you need to remember things, and how things work, that is right. But, that only applies to the things we know or want to know. The problem is, that in life, and in our human history, there is a lot left that we do not know. And which we need to find out, try, experiment and do better. But, as long as our perception of education is as a tool we need in order to survive and nothing more, is something that is clearly detrimental. As you can witness in the rise of functionally illiterate people in the world, the rise of fascism, and the rise of celebrities that produce nothing of value, not even music, nevermind any actual good music, books or arts. These do not just happen because of a grand conspiracy of the great media trying to distract you from what’s happening in the world. These things happen because people pay attention, people buy into these things. Thus, they’re success and proliferation. Which means, the way we do education now, isn’t exactly great.

So, when all you hear is go and learn, for me, at least, it doesn’t have much value. Now, when the second part comes in, it all starts to feel like a scam. Because go to school, learn, get good grades and then you go to a good college, and then you get a good job. Like, hold on, where did these fucking steps come from? These isn’t what any of us signed up for. Now we also need good grades? Why aren’t average grades good enough? It’s not like these grades these anything but your capability to focus, remember and regurgitate material, so it might not be useful for any of us at any point in our lives. And again, do not misunderstand, I love knowing stuff, I look at stuff every day to learn at least one new fact about something, doesn’t matter what. I love pulling out random facts and factoids about stuff, it’s a neat party trick. But, while some of it useful to me in the writing process and in not making a fool out of myself when I can’t point Turkey on a map. Most of the knowledge I use in my day to day life, has been and will be outside of what I learned in any educational system with the exception of reading, counting and some other basic stuff we all learned. So then we go onto college, another thing I think should exist and be used by people. Sadly, like the rest of the educational system, college is bad for most of us. And this is a twofold thing. Firstly colleges, with few exceptions, rarely give you the practice and teachings you need to get a job once you finish it. Nor do they help you in finding the experience you need to get where you want. Thus most college students go and work outside their field. Then secondly, this is also a cultural issue, since we treat college as a paper you need to get in order to get a job, any job. And nowadays it doesn’t matter what experience and skills you actually have, you need a stupid fucking piece of paper to prove what exactly? What would a bachelor in literature prove to the IT firm about my qualifications when hiring me? NOTHING. And you can apply this to most jobs, from corporate to the service industry.

Then there’s the lie that even if you go through all these tedious steps, you might not get a job. There are plenty of people with degrees that have no jobs. Having a degree doesn’t mean much, if you do not have experience, and if your college is tight and fills up your days, in order to get those good grades, you might not have time to actually get experience to get hired. So, it’s like a… It’s bullshit, it’s what it is. Then there’s the fact that we now tell everyone that most important jobs are not careers. We need people in logistics, in sales, in the service industry or society collapses without its treats. But we tell those people that they’re not worth a damn, if they’re not upper management. But there’s is OBJECTIVELY not enough fucking jobs in upper management for us all to advance to. So, some of us are being fed bullshit. That’s why I said the way we treat education is an oxymoron. Go to school, learn, get good grades, go to a good college, get a job and then you’ll eventually get a good enough paying job. But that’s objectively a lie these days. In most of the world, wages have been stagnant, upward mobility has been shrinking, which means that those that were lucky to get the good jobs, won’t move from those jobs, unless they are offered better paying jobs. And with the retirement age getting lifted everywhere in the world, that means that those people will remain for longer in those positions. Giving younger generations no chance at the upward mobility they were fortunate to take part in. That can also lead to stagnation instead of innovation, as those in the jobs, long term, at least, will not bring any new ideas, as they have been far removed from the actual process for far too long. That’s why CEO as a profession is bullshit, but that’s a topic for another time. 

What I am trying to convey here, is that education should not be looked through this cultural lie, that a good education gets you a good and well paying job. Because it might not, unless you know someone or are rich. The education you got, if you have not been thought in the process of getting educated how to use it, it might not be useful to you. Especially if you’re not smart enough to figure out how to use it. And this education system, does not teach you how to use what you learn well enough for most people to even have the chance to get on the same level. And most colleges are not setup to set you up to work towards a job. And that wouldn’t be a problem, if the jobs wouldn’t be the same, but that’s the topic for the last part of this mini-series.

Hope you like this post.

For more exclusive content and early access to posts like these visit: https://www.raulfo.com/nobodys-extra-blog-landing-page

Here is the cover photo for an exclusive post on Nobody’s Extra Blog with the tag: A mask crafted is a curse created. A mask worn is a miserable self-fulfilling prophecy.

Nostalgia's Trap

Memories are deceitful. And when we make them an endless pit, we will drown chasing what never was.

I remember. Do you remember? What was your happiest childhood memory? Do you remember the endless summer days? Do you remember the flavor of your favorite childhood soda? Do you remember how happy you were? How much you were having? What about those endless nights gaming with your friends? Or those simple nights spent talking and riffing until the sun came up? Do you remember that one crazy friend we all had? Whatever happened to him? Do you remember how those days felt on your skin? Do you remember that one song you all used to sing? Brings you to tears now thinking back on those days, doesn’t it? Do you remember that day you all first got drunk? Do you remember how all that freedom made you feel? Of course you do. We all do. Well, we remember some form of it. I remember it one way, you remember it another, the neighbors that were forced to listen to us probably remember it some other way. But, I bet my dollar that you had an answer for all those questions. If you haven’t yet done down a spiral of nostalgia humming that one song, thinking of that one time, what are you waiting for? The allure of nostalgia is something that keeps us very much in a bind for eternity. Much like a drug, after the first free taste of it, we are beholden to come back for more and more. 

Our relationship with nostalgia is quite similar to our relationship with everything. In excess, it’s bad. There is no other way around it. And in this day and age, it feels like we have forgotten anything to do with any sort of moderation when it comes to nostalgia. Much, like spirituality, we took something of an aid to this terrible life we as humans created for ourselves, and now we are using it as the thing that drives us. As we start to believe in a mirage. And the more we push for it, the more it becomes a delusion, the worse things get, the more we want back to the good ol’ times. Like an idiotic self-fulfilling prophecy, we have blinded ourselves by snorting nostalgia to a degree where we can’t distinguish between a badly rendered memory and what was reality. Please continue reading to the last word, before you decide that what I am about to read is mean or bad. We take what we had for granted. Our ignorance and lack of supervision or any real responsibility was indeed freeing, but it also meant we were sheltered from the reality of our world. As we were left to our own devices to live life, experience it, make our memories, create the core of our nostalgia. And instead of learning how beautiful life could be if we all had the means to live a good life, we took it as life back then was good. Missing the entire point of your youth and freedom. So now we long for those times back, by wanting to restrict and recreate the same circumstances from back then, only without realizing that we’re constricting our own freedoms.

Our memories were great. The good, the bad, the very poor, in my case, I do remember things I loved. I remember things I regret doing or not. I remember that song fondly, I remember how those summer nights felt on my skin. How it felt to spend a night outside and just talk and laugh without a penny on my name. How it felt to play all day, enjoy summer to the fullest. I remember these things like they were yesterday as well. Otherwise I wouldn’t have chased that high again and started to buy retro games and consoles. But, nostalgia is a hell of a drug. It can blind us to the reality that is in front of us which we should confront, and it can turn us into dangerous addicts. As we try to force things back into something that never was and never can be again. The more one consumes nostalgia, the more the danger of getting mentally stunned at an back to an age of adolescence. Immature, unreasonable, with rose tinted glasses glued on whenever thinking of the past, someone addicted to this drug can have these symptoms as they are in a perpetual loop seeking the same thrills from when they felt at their freest, much like someone stuck in a never-ending midlife crisis. So, please, consume nostalgia at your own peril. But if you do, remember to do it with moderation.
For more exclusive content and early access to posts like these visit: https://www.raulfo.com/nobodys-extra-blog-landing-page

Here is the cover photo for an exclusive post on Nobody’s Extra Blog with the tag “Honesty, honestly, doesn’t work for everyone.” To read it visit the link above.

When I Look at Me

Existing is complicated.

If you live you are going to create stuff. You create actions which creates a reaction, this in turn creates memories. Now,, with those memories you do as you please. You think as you please and as you can. But, something you can’t do, is undo those things. You can apologize, take responsibility for those actions. Get forgiven and forgive yourself, but you can not undo what’s been done. Which is fine. And if you’re thinking that you can undo because you can repair stuff, we’re going to enter a long discussion about a certain ship and I do not wish that upon you. So, as you exist you do things, things are being done to you, and thus existence is a constant flux of things happening all the time and all the time happening constantly to you. And, as a writer, I can not help but look back at myself. The first time I did that, it broke me. Now, a second time, I do not have the same self-esteem problem when it comes to my own ego. Which sounds fake coming from me patting myself on the back, but I have a point with this. I wanted to see if I can reinterpret some of my old posts from the original blog from 2008 for you here, with a new perspective. As I have done at the beginning of this blog when we moved over to this website. But looking back, some of the stuff I posted did not age well. Not because it was anything bad, morally speaking, but because I do not feel the same frustration as I did back then. And I have a better way of putting things into at least a certain perspective, which would make more sense even for my old self.

And that is a complicated feeling to face, while happy that I can do that, which is what we should all try to strive for… Have an answer to the questions our old past selves had. A dream, for sure, as many questions have no answer, and some answers can never become a solution in our live times. Depending on the scale of the question and the answer. But, I can’t help it, when I look at me, who I was, at that the frustration I had, that even if I had the answer, there was never something I could do about any of that back then. Nor do I think it would’ve satisfied me. But rather put more flames beneath my wings to try more, do more stuff, no matter if I knew something or not. And I wish I had the same drive I did back then. But I do not, and that is the one thing I can only admire about my old self, the stubborn, dumb, self determination to do something, anything, everything. Yet I think this is more of a universal feeling we all have after a certain age. Whether you remember how much you could work, how much you could do, how brave you were, how fun you were, these things are what drive the mid-life crisis, are they not? Finding these things in us are always fine, in my opinion, as long as we apply the wisdom we got through living and we don’t just throw ourselves without thought to do the things we used to.

So, I can’t help but look at myself and ask if the way I am is okay. If there’s something else I should have done to be better, become someone that’s more than I am right now. I’ve been ruminating on a book that I could’ve finished in two weeks for 6 years. I could’ve done so much more if I had the courage I had when I was younger, at least that’s what I am inclined to think, yet at the same time I would’ve been in so much trouble, if I had that courage and impulse. So, when I look at me, I can’t help but think of how lucky I am to be who I am now, riddled with anxiety, yet with stuff I always wished to have. Not as sure of myself as before, but doing things I love. Yet, despite all of that, if you’re an overthinker, there’s always some if, some maybe, some something that someone could have done better, should have done better. So when I look back at me, I there are mixed feelings, yet there’s not much regret or hate. So, when I look at myself know, I can’t help but be excited for what I will think of this moment right now in ten years from now. What I’ll think of myself and these words then? What new wisdom will I have? What new answer will I have to the frustrations I have now. to the questions I have now… What do you think? What do you feel? What critique do you have? I ask now to my future self. 

For more exclusive content and early access to posts like these visit: https://www.raulfo.com/nobodys-extra-blog-landing-page

Here is the cover photo for an exclusive post on Nobody’s Extra Blog with the tag “If you ask people, love is… Complicated.” To read it visit the link above.

Nobody The Blog Now with MORE

If you have been reading, thank you.

We just passed 15 years. And I finally have the chance to bring everything on this platform together. So, if you want to support me more, you can do so. You can now create your own account. Why? Because you can now subscribe to Nobody’s Extra Blog. And what can you get there? You can get early access to the next posts on here. Exclusive posts that will only be posted there. Exclusive chapters or pages from my next book. Updates regarding everything I am planning on doing and more… Do not worry, no content that has been publicly available to you until now will go behind a paywall. You will continue to get free short stories on a monthly basis. If not even more now.

Having this paid page is nothing but an incentive for me to write more, do more, and get back into the things I love doing more. And give you more content, more thoughts, more of everything. And, if we are lucky to grow enough, we might be able to bring on other nobodies to help them grow as well, and transform this blog into a voice for people and pay them for their work for more than a fair cut. But that is in the future, right now, I have posts until September planned. And I have more content for you in mind. Who knows, maybe I’ll finish the two series I have started but have yet to finish if this goes well.

As we go towards the 20 years of Nobody The Blog, I will always treasure this chance to do great things and write for the nobodies of the world. 

So, here are the taglines for the next posts you will expect to see on the Extra Blog starting with Friday.

If you ask people, love is… Complicated. (This is an exclusive post for the Extra Blog for this Friday)

Existing is complicated. (This is for a post that will be posted on here as well, but it will be available early access on the Extra Blog.)

I will not lie to you… (Early Access)

Everything is history and everything is context, including you. (Early Access)

Freedom isn’t violent, violence is violent… (Early Access)

I am good enough if I say I am good enough, unless you say I am not… (Early Access)

As you can see, there is a lot of Early Access waiting for you on the Extra Blog in the upcoming weeks. Which means there is a log of free content on the way. But, that’’s not all, between those posts will be extra exclusive posts for the Extra Blog, which I do not want to spoil yet. And, of course, also posts updating you on what I am working on. 

I appreciate you, here’s to another 15 years and. See you on the Extra Side.
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Dragons, Blood and Gold - Ghouls

Living, breathing, husks… Ghouls!

Between gold, fire and gemstones, the dragon is buried and slumbering peacefully in the night. Surrounded by tall walls and towers, they sleep beneath the clear stary sky. But inside the walls and towers there is movement. An uncanny sound is heard as they move from place to place as they drag their feet on the ground. With a torch in hand they move from side to side, bored, yet purposeful.  From the forest a small light is seen approaching the walls. Through one of the many windows in the walls and towers one of the ghouls sees the light approaching. It drops its torch and starts running. Through the dark corridors of the walls they run as fast as possible towards the stairs at the end of the hallway. As it goes down they pass another and another and another ghoul. It reaches the door and flings it wide open as it breathes heavily looking towards the light approaching. From behind him other ghouls push him as they run towards the light. They keep pushing and tripping each other as they slobber while running towards the light. A group of four knights with their hunting dogs is ambushed by the starving ghouls. As the dogs jump towards the necks of the ghouls trying to bite them. They stick stick their hands down the dogs’ throats and directly onto their hearts. The knights try to cut them down, only to hit the dogs and get blinded by blood. The ghouls with their bloody hands push and tackle the knights to the ground and strangle them. Some of them pull on their limbs trying to get the armor off, as they can’t bite through it. As the twenty ghouls dismember the dogs and knights, to sun starts to shine. Hours later only a bloody patch of grass remained as the ghouls resumed walking the halls. With dried up blood on their hands and faces they walk the halls, patiently, waiting…

The dragon awakes from his slumber. As he slowly gets up, he tries not to waste any of the gold or precious stones by throwing them outside the walls. From a door in a wall a pale white figure emerges. Sire, how can I assist you today? asks the pale figure. How many years have you been in my service now? asks the Dragon. Thirty years, sire, responds the pale figure. Thirty years, that is a long time for your kind, yes? I feel like you deserve a treat. Sleeping beneath all this gold makes me feel magnanum… Makes me feel good. So why don’t you go into town today and get yourself a woman? asks the Dragon. I appreciate your kindness, sire, responds the pale figure as he bows down. Good, as you should. I feel like we need some new faces around. They all look so ghoulish, says the Dragon. As you wish, my sire, says the pale figure. What do you think? asks the Dragon. We can… the pale man gets interrupted. It is not of any matter, I decided, as long as this works, it does not matter, says the Dragon. Wise decision, sire, says the pale figure. I have a problem needs solving. There are these humans that I wish they would hurry a bit with their delivery of gold and precious stones. And I would like you to go gather some of my loyal humans from within the walls to be sent to these towns, says the Dragon. Understood, sire, says the pale figure as he goes within the walls.

With long nails, pale skin, long hair and a torch in hand, these are humans. Their gaunt features, dead eyes, lust for blood if anyone even dares to get close to their walls, these humans have been long lost to the allure of gold and power. They roam the empty halls of the castle walls guarding the dragon’s bounty. What they eat, no one knows anymore. Rumors of cannibalism, of eating raw flesh of rats that gather around the castle walls are abound. Yet no one survived to get close enough to a castle in order to observe them, without losing their lives. And if you see them around your village, settlement, town, that is a bad omen. No towns survived seeing these ghouls anywhere near them. So, children, if you ever see a ghoul. Run! And please remember, gold, precious stones and the power to breathe fire, is not what is all there is to life. Do not let yourselves get corrupted and become ghouls… says the teacher as a Ghoul passes by the window of the school.

Overwork overkills you

School kills your uniqueness…

I remember seeing those comics about how school sculps you into something unremarkable, you probably saw them too. I wrote a piece about not wanting to grow up like them, sad, frustrated, empty, about fourteen years ago, on this blog. My fear was that I was about to grow up into a sad, pathetic, empty shell of a man with nothing to look forwards to, only work, home, work, home, work, home. Well, while things aren’t bad, for me, for many they are. And while I did look at those people thinking those things, I grew up to see the world more clearly. Those weren’t losers, they were survivors. Yes, some very empty, but it wasn’t their choice to be empty, it was those around them draining them of any shred of humanity of passion. Yes, those people were sad, but they were sad for a reason, life wasn’t giving them enough to be more nor was it letting them be anything more. And as ethereal as it is to say life, it’s not some mysterious force we do not know about or the will of some wise god sending us challenges to rise up to. It’s us. It’s people. We are the cause of unhappiness for many. 

Even school, as bad as it was for many, me included, and not that I excuse it, it gave me some experiences I wouldn’t have had it without it. Experiences from which I’ve learned. Now, I did not learn what the intended curriculum at the school thought I’d learn, but that’s besides the point. The point is that in life you learn, no matter how bad the situation is, there is always something to learn, even when there seems to be no meaning to it, that might just be the meaning to it. It’s a paradox or it’s simply stupid. Either way, there is always something to learn. But my assessment of those men was wrong. And so was my assessment of school and high school, at least. We won’t be getting into universities and colleges, because this post will be too long and that’s besides the point. Those men had little choice in their misery, those places had little choice in who they could hire or what they could teach or not. Because this system is broken, and that’s a feature, not a bug. Again, not very ethereal when I say system, I say we, the people, who have created and support this system, are at fault. At some point we need to accept and take responsibility for it. Because we’ve created a cycle of violence, lack of empathy, and hypocrisy that hurts us. We went from “we want a better future for our kids” to “they’re whiny, entitled kids that won’t work”. We went from “I want them to have what I didn’t” to “If I suffered and turned out okay, they can too”. We went from “I will love my child” to “my father beat me and look what a person I turned out to be”. We went from “Go to college, get a degree and you will be set for life” to “Go to college, get a masters, get a PhD, do volunteer work, be an unpaid intern, work minimum wage for a few years and then you will be able to get into middle management.” We went from “Work hard and you will get what you’re owed” to “You need to grind harder and monetize your hobbies.”

At some point I feel like we’ve lost it. And indulging in this isn’t going to fix anything. We are producing more than any other generation in history. We are working more than any other generation in history. We are overstressed, overworked, overly anxious, priced out of housing, priced out of our treats, priced out of our hobbies, priced out of our free time. And when people have no free time, they can’t have their treats, they can’t socialize, they can’t go watch a movie, read a book, watch a tv series, play a game, listen to music and get engrossed in those things. That makes people more anxious, more nervous. Their lives become more precarious, and they need to hold on tight or they will sink. And when all you see around you is nothing but open water… They need to swim harder, work harder, think less, do more. Their bodies always in a flight or fight state, their minds always engaged, but never absorbing new information. Who needs new information if it doesn’t help me work better, make more money, do more of what I am good at? Give me work! Do you know where I can find some work? A buddy of mine works 3 jobs and is doing just fine. Smokes 3 packs a day, but he’s never been happier to see his bank account. Work baby, work, that’s all that should matter. Cause these are shark infested waters. No matter that the infinity pool was built around you and your bosses threw in the shark. Who cares about those details? If you’re about to be eaten by a shark? Swim dummy, swim!

I have been lucky. I have been so lucky. Whether during school, high school, college or just out whilst socializing, I have met some truly brilliant people. Some of the smartest, imaginative, most daring, witty people you could ever hope to meet. I was lucky to be in the same room or conversation with them. But so many have become some the dumbest fucking people I know, since they’ve buried their heads into work. And that’s for a good reason. When you are not allowed to be creative whether as a creative or in finding creative solutions to fix a problem. You will give up on creativity. This will turn your life into a very boring one. When you do not have time to meet more people, so you don’t have time to meet more diverse groups of people. Maybe because you don’t go out as often or don’t go on vacation out of your country. So, you won’t feel comfortable with the ideas of others. When you do not have time not just to watch or listen, but to actually absorb and actually understand the content you are watching, playing, consuming, listening to… You wake yourself up and you find yourself calling a show you liked after 4 seasons woke trash. And calling the city where you live and work in, but never get to see, “infested”. And you just realized that while you were working for the past however many years, that things changed. And that’s scary. But that’s what overworking does, while maybe benefitting you monetarily, it kills you physically, mentally, socially since it keeps your group of friends very small… It kills you of any speck of personality and openness you might have had, because if you don’t need it. You don’t want it anywhere near you. Doesn’t matter if it makes sense or not. The discomfort you feel, is all that matters. And no one can ever disturb that for any reason.

If it works for me, it works for all, says the fish in the pool.

Dragons, Blood and Gold Part III - The End

What makes you alive?

As the nightmare lingered as the fire continues and charred bodies turned to ash, the two brothers lay in silence as their screams took their voices away. The story of their tragedy took them from settlement to settlement. Some people believed their stories, yet had no courage to say anything. Some did not believe any word that came out of those two brothers. Either way, the two brothers could never feel welcomed in any place at any time after they would tell their story to anyone and everyone that was willing to listen. Having lost friends, companions, wives, children, neighbors, the two marched on. Why were we even born? asks Baldbert. I don’t think there’s any other reason than our parents love, says Austrulf. I can’t help but wonder, continued Baldbert. It won’t do much good. Things happen. Looking for a reason when what happens is pointless. What happened to me, to you, it doesn’t matter to them. It doesn’t affect them. It doesn’t change the way the world is. None of the dragons know your name. None of the history will remember it either. We are doing our best and that’s that, Austrulf finishes his rant..Then what’s the point anymore? asks Baldbert. Whatever you want it to be, Austrulf. As weeks turn to months, all the two brothers can get is some pity or sympathy from people. At this point they can’t make the difference whether it’s one or the other. As they continue to live in tents or caves along the road as they try to dodge the dragons.

On a rainy night they muster the courage to find an inn to sleep at. As they enter they are greeted by a couple of tables of people talking politics, drinking and shouting lewd jokes at each other. One big drunk man with a long beard looks at the two as they are about to go towards the stairs and shouts at them. Oy! I can smell people with a good story from far away, and you two lads look like you’ve been through hell. You certainly smell like it, the man continued. As the two recounted their story the man laughs. I told ya I have a good nose for a story. And that’s a hell of a good one. Let me get you some ales as a reward, insists the loud man. So, where are you two headed? asks another man from the table. Anywhere and everywhere that would listen to our story, says Austrulf. But why? asks the same man again. Let me rephrase what my friend is trying to actually ask here, says the loud man, what do you think doing this will bring ya? asks the loud man. I hope when the dragon comes and burns you and your loved ones alive in front of you, says Baldbert before taking a gulp of the ale, that you remember us telling you our story, Baldbert says before taking another swig of his ale. Do you really think that complaining and telling everyone what happened to you that it will change anything? asks the loud man before laughing. I did not say that. I just told you to remember me and our story before you die, Baldbert says. Appreciate the drink, says Austrulf as the two get up to leave. Cowards, scoffs the loud man. Austrulf turns around and looks at them. We’ve been through countless settlements, villages, towns, we’ve told this story to many. How many of them do you see here today with us rallying to do something about it? None. Yet we continue… says Austrulf before they make their way upstairs to their room. What makes you alive? asks Baldbert. What? asks Austrulf. Nothing. Good night, says Baldbert.

The next morning the two brothers make their way out of town. They are both hit over the head with some wooden bats. Baldbert falls down hits his head on a rock and dies there. Austrulf manages to catch himself as he falls with his vision blurred by the blood dripping on his eyelids. He falls down. He wakes up days later with a headache and bandages around his head. A travelling merchant and his daughter took him on their carriage and nursed him back to health. He tells them his story, he thanks them and leaves on his own after reaching the next village. Not wanting to stop, he continues onward. As the night falls he hears a howling in the woods. With a big wooden stick he walks slowly trying to get to a place where he can camp overnight. As he walks, he feels something tugging at his leg. He turns around a wolf is biting his leg. He hits the wolf over the head so hard the big stick breaks and the wolf runs away. He keeps walking with fear that something might attack him again. He manages to find a small spring of water to clean his wound and drink some water. He gets up and moves along, fearing that animals might come to drink here as well. From exhaustion he decides that the first giant tree he finds he will rest next to it. As he walks through the dark forest he finds a big tree, he leans against it and slides down breathing a sigh of relief. Austrulf falls asleep. For the next three days, Austrulf wanders the forest trying to find his way out of it, as during the night he went off the beaten path. In an encounter with a boar he breaks his left arm as he put it forwards to defend himself. In an encounter with food, he slips and falls, hurting himself again. It takes him four days to get out of the forest. and find a village. Bruised, beaten, bitten, hungry, sleep deprived, dirty, lonely, alone, broke and smelly, he tries to comfort himself. I am alive. I am still alive. I hate this world. I hate these people. But I am alive. I have not been born in the right time, in the right place, around the right people, but I am alive. And that means that I have the opportunity to make the right time, make the right place, create the right people. People that are decent to all people, a place where your burden is as much of a burden as mine is, where the right time to solve whatever problem we have is now… Austrulf tells himself. Fancy seeing you here muttering to yourself, says the loud man with a big smile on his face. Before Austrulf even gets the chance to raise his head, the loud man bashes his head with an axe. You can’t just complain and expect people to change. And you dared call me a coward, when you couldn’t even face reality… says the loud man.

Levels to Life

Each is born to life his life to his whim… But his whim is limited by where they were born and to whom they were born to.

Level 1 - What should I do?

This is the first and last important question many people ask themselves while trying to figure out their life. Which is fine. We need everyone to do a bit of everything and pull in the same direction. So people stopping here is absolutely fine. Survival in this violent work is as tough as ever, as greed rules in this world of ours. But people at this level can be easily manipulated as their sole focus is on survival and not much else. And in order to survive most do whatever needed. And siding with the side that guarantees they keep getting paid for the work they are doing. Without much in order of principals to be had at this level. 

Level 2 - Who am I?

Not that everyone that got to this question figured out the first one. But usually people that get to this level have a desire to know more, to define themselves, to stand for something in this world good or bad...

These people struggle, some for a little, some for a lot. Some might struggle until they find something that works for them and then they don’t care for any further development. They have success, so why bother looking further into things? Those that get to this result, usually are conservative and love the way the world works. Even if confronted with the reality of the situation they usually brush it off, since if it worked for them, it should work for everyone. And if it doesn’t it’s clearly their fault. But for everyone else that gets to this level, they keep pursuing the questions as they keep changing with time. Whether due to outside circumstances or their interior ones, these people will better themselves and will try to have a solid life philosophy which will fulfill them and also bring them a lot of pain.

Level 3 - What do I stand for?

The elevated form of “Who am I?” this part deals with the person trying to fit into the world and how the world works and how they see the world in accordance to their philosophy. All of which they developed by asking themselves “What should I do?” and “Who am I?”. While the other two levels are hard, this is going to be one of the hardest questions in order to define yourself, if you have not given up the moment you have found something that works for you in the last question. Why is this so hard? Because you have to truly face the world.

While in the first question, you face the world at a superficial level, trying to survive. At the second level you are trying to find yourself and find yourself in the world around you. Here, you will have to confront friends, family and the world, as you find that your philosophy does not gel with most people. Or simply that most people are horrible and you need to rid yourself of them as they are toxic. That and that they’ll probably make you unhappy with their presence. And while listening to the other side is fine and well, you will find that those that base themselves on hate, greed and ego, have little to say that is worth listening to. As it’s usually is uninformed, in bad faith or straight up evil. Because all while asking these questions you do learn about the world.

Level 4 - How can I make the world a better place?

If you ever got here, you are brave. Most people do not get past even the first question, nevermind use any of their precious time to think of others. Or to think about the future and how to make it a better future for those to come. And I mean in earnest, not in a using the future as an excuse to do or say hateful things. This is the elevated version of what I stand for, where you have to be selfless, sacrifice, and now that you have stood your ground in terms of who you are and what you stand for, you can take action. Action trying to do what’s best, no matter the scale, this is very hard. As you can do this multiple ways and with different types of success, depending on the scale.

Level 5 - Is it worth it?

Doing the right thing is worth it. No matter how many people will dislike you, hate you, won’t understand you. Trying to be on the right side of the history, while wanting peace, people to be fed, housed, with access to clean water. Being anti-hate, anti-genocide, anti-fascism being pro-human is always worth it. Because history will remember very well what is wrong. And knowing that should make it worthwhile. All while helping people, giving others hope that it can be better. And finding a way in a violent, hateful world is tough, but no one can take your goodness away from you, if you hold onto it hard enough. Because being good is tough, it is sure better than being an asshole.