School kills your uniqueness…
I remember seeing those comics about how school sculps you into something unremarkable, you probably saw them too. I wrote a piece about not wanting to grow up like them, sad, frustrated, empty, about fourteen years ago, on this blog. My fear was that I was about to grow up into a sad, pathetic, empty shell of a man with nothing to look forwards to, only work, home, work, home, work, home. Well, while things aren’t bad, for me, for many they are. And while I did look at those people thinking those things, I grew up to see the world more clearly. Those weren’t losers, they were survivors. Yes, some very empty, but it wasn’t their choice to be empty, it was those around them draining them of any shred of humanity of passion. Yes, those people were sad, but they were sad for a reason, life wasn’t giving them enough to be more nor was it letting them be anything more. And as ethereal as it is to say life, it’s not some mysterious force we do not know about or the will of some wise god sending us challenges to rise up to. It’s us. It’s people. We are the cause of unhappiness for many.
Even school, as bad as it was for many, me included, and not that I excuse it, it gave me some experiences I wouldn’t have had it without it. Experiences from which I’ve learned. Now, I did not learn what the intended curriculum at the school thought I’d learn, but that’s besides the point. The point is that in life you learn, no matter how bad the situation is, there is always something to learn, even when there seems to be no meaning to it, that might just be the meaning to it. It’s a paradox or it’s simply stupid. Either way, there is always something to learn. But my assessment of those men was wrong. And so was my assessment of school and high school, at least. We won’t be getting into universities and colleges, because this post will be too long and that’s besides the point. Those men had little choice in their misery, those places had little choice in who they could hire or what they could teach or not. Because this system is broken, and that’s a feature, not a bug. Again, not very ethereal when I say system, I say we, the people, who have created and support this system, are at fault. At some point we need to accept and take responsibility for it. Because we’ve created a cycle of violence, lack of empathy, and hypocrisy that hurts us. We went from “we want a better future for our kids” to “they’re whiny, entitled kids that won’t work”. We went from “I want them to have what I didn’t” to “If I suffered and turned out okay, they can too”. We went from “I will love my child” to “my father beat me and look what a person I turned out to be”. We went from “Go to college, get a degree and you will be set for life” to “Go to college, get a masters, get a PhD, do volunteer work, be an unpaid intern, work minimum wage for a few years and then you will be able to get into middle management.” We went from “Work hard and you will get what you’re owed” to “You need to grind harder and monetize your hobbies.”
At some point I feel like we’ve lost it. And indulging in this isn’t going to fix anything. We are producing more than any other generation in history. We are working more than any other generation in history. We are overstressed, overworked, overly anxious, priced out of housing, priced out of our treats, priced out of our hobbies, priced out of our free time. And when people have no free time, they can’t have their treats, they can’t socialize, they can’t go watch a movie, read a book, watch a tv series, play a game, listen to music and get engrossed in those things. That makes people more anxious, more nervous. Their lives become more precarious, and they need to hold on tight or they will sink. And when all you see around you is nothing but open water… They need to swim harder, work harder, think less, do more. Their bodies always in a flight or fight state, their minds always engaged, but never absorbing new information. Who needs new information if it doesn’t help me work better, make more money, do more of what I am good at? Give me work! Do you know where I can find some work? A buddy of mine works 3 jobs and is doing just fine. Smokes 3 packs a day, but he’s never been happier to see his bank account. Work baby, work, that’s all that should matter. Cause these are shark infested waters. No matter that the infinity pool was built around you and your bosses threw in the shark. Who cares about those details? If you’re about to be eaten by a shark? Swim dummy, swim!
I have been lucky. I have been so lucky. Whether during school, high school, college or just out whilst socializing, I have met some truly brilliant people. Some of the smartest, imaginative, most daring, witty people you could ever hope to meet. I was lucky to be in the same room or conversation with them. But so many have become some the dumbest fucking people I know, since they’ve buried their heads into work. And that’s for a good reason. When you are not allowed to be creative whether as a creative or in finding creative solutions to fix a problem. You will give up on creativity. This will turn your life into a very boring one. When you do not have time to meet more people, so you don’t have time to meet more diverse groups of people. Maybe because you don’t go out as often or don’t go on vacation out of your country. So, you won’t feel comfortable with the ideas of others. When you do not have time not just to watch or listen, but to actually absorb and actually understand the content you are watching, playing, consuming, listening to… You wake yourself up and you find yourself calling a show you liked after 4 seasons woke trash. And calling the city where you live and work in, but never get to see, “infested”. And you just realized that while you were working for the past however many years, that things changed. And that’s scary. But that’s what overworking does, while maybe benefitting you monetarily, it kills you physically, mentally, socially since it keeps your group of friends very small… It kills you of any speck of personality and openness you might have had, because if you don’t need it. You don’t want it anywhere near you. Doesn’t matter if it makes sense or not. The discomfort you feel, is all that matters. And no one can ever disturb that for any reason.
If it works for me, it works for all, says the fish in the pool.