Guide to Being a Good Person

I do not really care about your philosophy on life, what your religion is or whatever negative thoughts you might have about the following words. But, if you do feel called out or offended by anything I have written here, it is a good time to reconsider who you are and who you think you are. Not because this is a personal attack, I do not know you. And as per the title of this blog, I am a Nobody in the grand order of things. If you just might kindly or rudely disregard every word from here on out. Which is full on your right to do so. Just because you or I, have the freedom of expression, does not mean that I or you, have the right to the attention of anyone for that matter… Unless you instigate terrorism or hate crimes, in which case you do deserve the full attention of the authorities..

So, you probably are a horrible person, welcome. You are not alone, nor will you ever be alone in this regard. But over the course of my short life, compared to others that have lived for over 80 years and have seen some stuff, I can say that I have seen enough to draw some conclusions on my own just like you drew yours. And considering that by societal standards I am an adult, I have thought to take those conclusions and write them down. Well, I had this idea for a long time, but never really had the wording right or all thoughts in order. Now after all that said, since you probably are a horrible person, you might want to be a better person. And that is going to be the hardest thing you will ever do in your life, if you decide to do it and become a better person. Not that I am an expert, but as I said, I do have some ideas.

So, what makes a person good or bad? Well, the simplest version would be the following comparison, good is like light. Bad is like darkness, meaning the lack of light, or by this logic the lack of good. So being good means not being bad. But you might say that everyone has a different size for what bad is or what good is. You can’t fit everyone in one convenient definition. Well, I just did, unless you see in darkness like you would during a sunny day, well, good for you, but I think you might be a mutant with special abilities.

So, you gave up and accepted what I wrote there, which is why you are reading this. And now you are asking yourself where I’ll actually start this guide. Which is here. Because if good is the lack of bad, then we can draw some lines in the sand. And for what is in the actual line, meaning those gray areas, well, those remain sort of debatable, but for another time. The same applies to punishment regarding bad people and their actions. And if you think, but I know that I am not a good person and that’s okay… Well, let me tell you that is not, and you should change because, you knowing that fact is not a free pass to be an asshole, you are simply part of the problem.

Yet the guide is very simple. It has rules as ancient as speaking or writing. So here’s how to be a good person. By the way, if you find yourself being one of those people mentioned below, please do seek professional help or talk to your friends or family about these things. Unless your friends and family reassure you that it is okay to be a bad person, in which case you need better friends and a new family.

  1. Do not hate* - If you hate consenting people that love each other, yet do no harm to minors as adults, or do not harm animals, well, you are a bad person no matter what your religion, faith, whomever tells you whatever. If you hate people because they disagree with you and you think they are your oppressors because everything is too “PC” and “cancel culture is out to get you” because you can’t say the n-word or bully or be hateful towards someone, you’re a bad person no matter what your religion, faith, whomever tells you.

    *this however does not apply to hating nazis/fascists, any type of nationalists aka xenophobes, racists, homophobes and so on and so forth. Because hating those people is fine. Hate should NEVER be tolerated. But Nobody, aren’t you doing the same? Well, no. There is a major difference between someone that hates people and doesn’t want a group of people to not have rights because. And someone that hates the group of people and doesn’t want them to have rights. Because hate and harming innocent people should NEVER be tolerated.

  2. Do not harm others** - If you harm others physically, emotionally, psychologically, you are a bad person. Abuse is abuse, whatever its form is. Your freedom, be it that of speech or otherwise ends when you hurt others. Or if you are a danger to yourself and those around you. This, of course, if I wasn’t clear enough, includes discrimination. So, if you say that some people are lazy or that they deserve it. And so on and so forth, you are hurting their chances for upward mobility, because now you are someone that whether willing or unwilling is standing in their way, due to your attitude and action.

    **this however does not apply to people that are violent in their actions or speech. By this, I do not mean that people should intervene to punish them or give them a taste of their own medicine, but what I mean is that the authorities should do their job and restrain them from harming anyone.

That’s it. See? Easy. These should be the norm, considering that we’re in 2022. Not an abstract thought that I have on a Thursday evening after years of debate with myself about what makes a person good or bad. And if you are still thinking “but what about what I want”. Or if you think you are justified in what or how you think… Then fuck off, kindly. Live in the woods, by yourself with no one around to judge you for the horrible person you are. As long as you have: plumbing, running water, electricity, the internet, live in a house you haven’t built yourself, eat and buy stuff you haven’t grown yourself, pay taxes, drive cars. As long as you are surrounded by other people and profit and make use of what other people made… You can either choose to be a good person… Deal with the hate you are getting back or fuck off. These are my honest thoughts that have been bubbling up in me for over a decade now. And I am glad to have them out and about.

De-Connected

It is not that I do not think of myself as human. It is more that I might have a different relationship to the definition of human is. The more we have learned about nature, how we connect and differ from it. Or even how we ourselves work as humans. There have been many that tried to make sense of it and our place in all of this. Meaning that the things you are about to read are neither new or inventive in any regard, but it is my own personal experience about being human or rather, being my own self.

At some point, some time, I don’t think I can pinpoint it with precision or accuracy when it happened, but I was more than myself. I de-connected with the traditional or the normal. Or at least I think that way because it just might be something that not many speak of or admit to it. But I am more than certain that there is a term for it in psychology, which obviously I do not know.

What do you think you are?

How would you describe yourself?

How do you see yourself?

What is your perception of what you are? Or better yet, who are you?

What are you to the human form?

What makes you you? Or to put even more simply, how are you different as a human?

I think that we both have different answers to these questions. Even if you never asked these things, because let’s be honest, why would you? A life can be lived without the need for any of these questions to be asked in the first place.

But you see, that’s exactly the things I have asked myself at some point. And I had to, because I felt… Weird… For a lack of a better word. I rarely care for how I looked. I was glad I was in shape and that I could run, but that never was just me or how I was. Even back, if you asked me what I thought I was or how I were to describe myself, I would’ve never have told you anything about myself that was physical. And if you’d ask me how I’d see myself, I’d probably tell you something really based only in wish fulfilment. But even then, I wouldn’t refer to anything bodily. And then something happened when I was 18. Someone asked me who are you? And suddenly all these things that I had answered until now seemed silly, nonsensical or pointless.

It took me years to try and figure that out. I was already de-connected by the time I had been asked that question, but it was after I was asked that I started to unravel and realize that I had been de-connected this whole time.

From the first time I remember being lied to by people important in my life. To the first time I role played characters I’ve seen on TV on my own. To the point I started writing to figure things out. Somewhere, at some point in my life, I de-connected.

I wasn’t just a boy or a man with its flesh and rawness. I was just a brain, in a body. Or worse, just a conscience in a meat brain in an avatar I haven’t chosen for myself. With flaws that did not and do not make sense to me to this day. Why after tens of thousands of years do teeth rot or get cavities? Why did we not evolve better? Why do our eyelashes betray us and blind us by poking us in the eye? Why do we have one hole for breathing and food to go down through? And on and on, I could go regarding this peak design we call a human body.

After a while, I had found what I wanted to do, yet that did not help much. The problems were only starting. There was much for me to learn, to understand, to unravel. That’s all I knew what to do. Ask questions, read, listen, think, overthink, make mistakes, and then repeat the whole cycle again. After years of doing this, I could confidently say that I cared little to none about my body. Of course, that had consequences. Both on my health and how I looked. But, as long as it didn’t interfere with what I was doing, I wouldn’t matter much. I was happy.

Yet then came a moment when I had to look myself in the mirror. Not that I ever cared much to do so, in the first place. But the moment I felt uncomfortable in my body, was the moment I had to face that part of reality, that physical body. And after years, I could not recognize the man in the mirror. I was an adult, I was me, but I never seen much of me. Not that I hadn’t been taking selfies or pictures with people or avoiding such things. But once they were done, I wouldn’t really look at them or myself for more than a second. All that was of no consequence or matter to me. Because it wasn’t bringing any real value in my life. The value that I started to treasure was learning, reading, entertaining myself with tv shows, movies, comics, cartoon, writing, gaming, anything that had to do with my eyes and mind rather than my body. That is not to say that I was never listening to my body, it had its needs, I had my needs, but I always knew how to deal with them. Growing up poor does that to a person.

It is weird to be so de-connected from your own self in a sense. Especially your own body. It feels like you are taking for granted something that is very much finite. Because once you remember death, the dread of losing the body hits first. Then it’s the dread of losing yourself, all you were. Well, at least that is the case for me. Even now, after years of crippling anxiety, panic attacks, depression, impostor syndrome, overthinking, and other thing that I either learned to manage, learned to simply let go or to deal with, I still have to remind myself that I am de-connected. That maybe I should re-connect. Take care of the finite time I have with this body or else I’ll make that time even shorter.

And you might guess that this might stem from a need to escape, to run, to hide, but there’s not much I can do the things that give me anxiety. There’s not much I can do about climate change, the terrible choices people make voting, the terrible choices those that were voted in make regarding almost everything, corruption, the rise of fascism and nationalism like we didn’t just go through a world war regarding that exact same thing 80 years ago and like we didn’t just go through a cold war over 30 years ago now. And regarding my personal problems, there’s not much I can do there either. I just have to take a day at a time and create a better place for myself wherever I am. The mistakes I made, I can’t help anymore considering that I can’t change the past. If you fixed them, took accountability for it, there’s nothing else but move on. If there’s a lesson to learn there, good. If there wasn’t, then you’ll probably remember it as a cringe memory at an inopportune time sometime down the line.

I don’t think there’s anything to explain regarding my de-connection. Whether it’s the why, how or when. It somehow became just another thing I have to learn to live with. And I don’t think I’d have it any other way, considering my anxiety and the fact that I have a small case of being hypochondriac.

So, after this many words, I don’t know if there’s anything else to do, but de-connect. Recharge and tomorrow… Do try again.

Goodbye…