I see her and I can’t believe how gorgeous she is. I haven’t seen her in a couple of years and we barely kept in touch online, which only makes this meeting the ever sweeter. She goes to greet me with a hug, her sweet and sour scented parfum draws me into a nostalgia filled state as we sit down, order our drinks and start to reminisce about college and our younger years. She insists and keeps asking me how I feel and how I’ve been. Putting pressure as she can see through me, since I can’t hide my emotions all too well. Question after question, like punches to the gut, calling me out, shaking me up. And after all was said and done, her words like honey, soothe my wounds as she makes me feel understood for the first time in years. I feel happiness, as I stand there and smile looking in her eyes. As we stare at each other, I glimpse the sadness behind her eyes.
With that I put a big smile and ask what she has been doing. She laughs and tells me that it is but the same old. A crack in her laugh makes me think otherwise, now pursuing her to tell me the truth and trying to repay her kindness. She started giving me generic things about her workplace and just life in general, but her face, her eyes, her frown was telling another story, as she held herself in her own arms. Without thinking, I start lying about unnecessary things. Telling stories about when I was hurt and lied to by exes and the time I was that someone she had cheated with. Stories of abuse of friends that were neither here or there, just to see if it had anything to do with her relationship, since she was always so private about her life. She knew how and when to open up about the things that were bothering her.
Minutes had turned into an hour, two, or three, as we talked and talked. She relaxes after a few beers, her expression turns to a serious one. I try once more to get through to her and get something out, so at least I can help her. But nothing. I start venting about future and being afraid to decide on what to do. She tells me I worry too much. I start bemoaning my work and having to let go of what I do, she tries to understand and reassure me. Once she saw me calmer, she started to mock me and joke around. Without thinking I start teasing her back. We both exchange jabs at each other. I tell her that she is gorgeous and start complimenting her. She starts smiling. Embolden, I start flirting with her. She stays silence, as her expression turns to a more serious one, without any encouragement she starts complaining about the guy she was seeing. How he is lying to both her and his wife about where he is and what he is doing. In absolute awe, I tell her to fill me…
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