Hurt comes in all shapes and sizes.
A cry is heard, every single time a baby is born. We come in life through hurt, experiencing hurt, and our most formative years are spent hurting. When we learn to walk, we often fall. We get hurt. We get back up. We get hurt, again when we try to walk again, but haven’t yet figured it out exactly how. Then, later in life, we hurt when we learn more, experience more. The first time you ride a bike, you get hurt. The first time you play a sport, you got hurt. The first time you played a game, you lost and got hurt. Your first love, has left you hurt. Your first relationship has left you hurt. Your first fight with your mother, father or family, it is hurting still, maybe. You and your best friend when you had your first fight, it hurt. All the things we live through bring hurt. Life is nothing short of hurt. Whether it’s verbal, physical, mental, hurt is there from the moment you are born, to the moment you die of hurting too much. But, we learn to cope with those things. some, do better. Some, worse, through alcohol, drugs, gambling, food or any other similar addictive process or thing that can help fill the void, at least temporary. But, most of us do not learn how to cope. There is no such book about coping that can apply to everyone everywhere. Yet one thing we seem to keep forgetting is that we all hurt all the time.
Oh, I am not exaggerating, did you know that when your stomach is digesting food, it actually hurt your body physically? The reason you do not know that, or feel that, is because our body has a somewhat healthy way of dealing with that and not transmitting that hurt to your brain. So, hurt can be ignored, hurt can be bottled up, hurt can be dealt with appropriately. But that is, if we learn how to deal with it. But no one teaches you that, and those that try, most are putting you on a path of hurting even more. If you do not know how to process the hurt, if you do not know to vocalize your hurt, if you do not know how to cope with your hurt, that will bring you more hurt. And in this world of violence, hurt is literally everywhere at every corner, as hurt is part of our communal experience and culture. Our most prized art is about hurting, is making you feel hurt, rarely do we appreciate those that try to create art that heals. So, if we all hurt. If we all are born through hurt from labor, why do we break so easily and never get ourselves back together? Because the world is created by those hurt to hurt others. So when everyone is hurt, the world itself is one of hurt, the system we deal in is one that is hurting us.
So, then, why do I expect someone that is hurt to understand me? Why do I expect someone that can’t piece themselves together to look at my hurt and understand it? When clearly, they can’t understand their own hurting and how can their perspective even engage with my hurting? If their can’t fit into my shoes, nor are they even will to walk in them, why do I keep expecting them to do as I do? Why do I keep expecting them to understand what they did to hurt me? And why do I expect them to put in the effort to understand how I am hurting? When they can’t seem to get out of their own shoes, and even attempt to put on my shoes on. Life is full of hurt, but in this hyper-individualized world created by this violent system made by these hurt people to hurt people, we need more people that understand. You can understand whatever subject, system, thing, as much as you’d like, but if you never try to understand it from the human perspective, for the side that is hurting, you are not just missing the point, you will contribute towards creating a better tomorrow. Because then, you are acting to protect your privilege instead of creating equity and helping the world rid of much of the hurt its creating.
So, when you refuse to walk in someone’s shoes, and you simply react based on what presumptive image you have of them in your head, rather than listen and assess the things being related to you, there is no hope in my opinion, for you to understand the hurt of many. Hurt has many shapes and sizes, much like our shoes, but saying that all shoes are the same, is silly. My shoes, are different than your shoes. My hurt has been going on longer than you have seen or known. My shoes are more worn than yours for a multitude of reasons. Just because I use my shoes different than you do, does not mean that my shoes are less valuable than yours or anyone’s. They’re shoes, they’re made for walking. Much like the hurt that’s made to hurt you, one does not negate the other. But one did come before the other, so, if you refuse to walk in my shoes, but you’ll gladly walk in my enemy’s shoes, then how can I take what you tell me in good faith? Have you walked in my shoes before you spoke? Have you even imagined yourself where I am standing? How I am feeling before you wrote? I do not expect anyone to fully understand what I am going through, we all hurt in our own unique way. But, if you care about my hurt, I expect you to do the bare minimum and put yourself in my shoes first.