Her voice soothing, like something I haven’t seen before. That hello felt like a touch to my feeble broken soul. Hope once more in my eyes, I turn to see her, the one speaking to me. The smile I had on my face turned to shock as another ghost from my past has come to visit me. Why was she here? I never thought I’d see you. I never thought I’d see you, she says as I finish the same thought. What are you doing here? She asks as I was about to ask the same question. Out, with a friend. She just left, I respond with the most broken smile. You haven’t changed much, have you? With a nervous laughter I nod. How are you? What are you doing here? How’s your child? She smiles as she sits down in front of me. Fine, she is fine. Same, here to meet a friend, but by the looks of it she is late. She pulls out her pack of cigarettes, a lighter, a lights one up. Do you want one too? She asked. No, I quit. She starts laughing. Well, look at you grown up and all, she says while laughing.
The black nail polish, scraped off by the edges, her hands shaking, cigarette in mouth she taps on her phone with the speed of light. With one drag she sets her phone down on the table firmly and looks at me smiling. Married? She asked. No…. Not yet at least. A bit surprised she looks at me with the weirdest look. How so? What have you done to not be married by now? Nervously I laugh one more. You know me… Dumb shit. Tried stuff, didn’t pan out. Trying stuff, still doesn’t pan out. She sighs. Don’t worry, you’ll figure stuff out. Look at you, you still look fine, like you haven’t aged a single day. So, are you single now? Unable to look her in the eye, I respond. No, engaged. Without even finishing the sentence. Wow, congrats. Glad to hear that. See, you’re not such a loser after all. I’m afraid. You’re afraid, she says on a serious tone, after once more saying what’s on my mind.
How? She smiles.You’re the worst, you know that? Always so idiotically honest. You’re as mysterious as a carrot. Embarrassed, I look down at her hands as the smoke floats and draws in the air. It’s scary. Can you blame me? It’s forever. Without thinking she once more interrupts me. Who says it’s forever? Show me. Let’s be real, you aren’t that dumb to get engaged to someone you wouldn’t think to love and want to be with, right? She asks as I sit there feeling once more like a child in front of her. You’re overthinking it again. Such a horrible trait of yours. If you could only see yourself how others see you… In a whisper I tell her that I know. Then you’re a dumbass for not doing anything about it. Her words like a hammer to my ego, whatever is left of it. This is so frustrating, she says in an annoyed tone looking at me. She gets up, sits next to me and she puts her hand on my leg then…
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