Bad Fiction Ep. 5 & 6 [Bonus Content]

Bad Fiction Ep. 5

“It’s been five years, two week and one day. This was the first time it snowed more than one night. I woke up to this beautiful sight of you and the snow covered houses and roads. I missed this.” I said, sipping my hot coffee.

“It must feel nice.” She replied.

“Yeah, I haven’t had this feeling since I killed Santa.” I say with a new found love for Christmas.

“I’m glad you can enjoy this time of the year again.” She said in a very relieved tone.

“Took me some time, glad I back.” I turn, looking at her… She was wearing a hoodie, holding her coffee mug, smiling.

“You know, since you’re back…” She said with a suggestive smile on her face.

“What? No…” I said in disbelief.

She took a step back and pouted, I didn’t know this would have such an effect on her.

“Come on, don’t be like this.” I said.

“Then satisfy me.” She said with a stern look on her face.

I was in shock, I didn’t know what to say.

“Please…” She begged.

I was frustrated, but determined to do it. I wanted this Christmas to be special. Something really special.

“Fine, let’s do this.” I said this knowing that the world would be turned upside-down.

She started smiling again, she started jumping on the bed, rushing towards the closet to get her clothes.

“I’ll be ready in five minutes, puddin’.” She said.

“Puddin’…” I say snickering. Why was she calling me that? I never knew why. And especially after all this time. Maybe it was just nostalgia. But I felt like I could laugh again. Really laugh. Let’s see if that’s what I need.

“I. Am. Ready!” She said way too enthusiastically. 

I was way too concentrated to noticed her outfit at first, or to listen to whatever she was saying. Suddenly my hearing comes back and I hear her…

“Come on, Puddin’. Why so serious? Can’t you smile for me?”

“Ha ha ha ha hahahahahahahaha. Merry Christmas, dear.” I say.

“That’s better. Now let’s go kill the new Santa, that’s my gift to you.” She says smiling from ear to ear. But I was afraid. I haven’t done this in quite a while…

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Bad Fiction Episode 6

Lawrence-Sama enters the room. Bruce is shook, trembling with fear at the size of his Sama’s Hatsune Miku.

Lawrence-sama: Bow to me.

Bruce-kun: Yes, master.

Lawrence-sama: Why isn’t my seat warm? You know how my Hatsune likes the sit!

Bruce-kun: Y-yes, I’m sorry. So, sorry.

As he takes his rightful place as the Captain of the SSFH, Lawrence-sama angered by the fact that Adamu and Jamesu weren’t at their posts, he uses instant transmission. Only two find the two of the cucking each other.

Lawrence-sama: What the fuck are you guys doing? We have to go to Animetion-5-Sektor. Why are you cucks cucking right now?

Adam: I’m so sorry, it’s just been so long.

James: You never give us any free time, we had to do something.

Lawrence-sama: Not in here, not right now. We’re on a very important mission right now!!! The fate of the Teeth of the Rooster are at fucking risk, you cucks.

All were very upset about this situation, not just due to the blue balls the three were having, but also because of the already huge amounts of the word “cuck” in this Bad Fiction Episode. As they went towards the command deck, Elyse suddenly emerged from the room… Angry… Hissing, as her blue skin was falling off, she went on a rampage. Kicking a box for thirty minutes, until a gentleman named Ben the Son came and calmed her down, by petting her head. We learned that she was mourning the death of Fart of the Hands, one of her best friends. He had died in a tragic accident whist giving her an abortion. Anyway, back on the command deck, Lawrence-sama finally calmed down too, as they set sail towards the Animetion-5-Sektor. Where Lawrence-sama was promised to marry a princess. Suddenly an SOS signal came through. It was the SS-Bungalow, Captain /\ had brought too much rhye and corn on board, with oates overflowing.

Lawrence-sama: What the fuck /\?! Didn’t I tell you not to do this anymore? This is what? The third time? God fucking damn it! I’m supposed to pick out my fucking waifu, not help you.

Bones: Ha! You mean like I picked your mom up?

Lawrence-sama: God damn it, Bones! Not now.

After five years in space, eating oats, rhye and corn, the SSFH was finally back on road. Shitting bricks, with no one able to cuck, fuck, suck or cum anything but fiber. Yet the one thing that they all noticed, it was that they got ripped, not jacked, but ripped.

They finally jumped to Animetion-5-Sektor, Lawrence’s Hatsune Miku was growing. They finally got there, it was everything he imagined. The physics, the shapes, the bounciness, the ratios, it was heaven. They finally landed the damn ship, after a few hours of roaming around looking at everything. As they landed a voice is heard: “You’re not the real one. I am.” In shock Lawrence-Sama looks around to find the source of the voice… It was a laptop.

Laptop IG: I am the original, I am the real one.

Lawrence-sama: No, no you are not! How dare you? I am!!! I am the quintessential gamer!!! You were no one!

Laptop IG: Join me, brothers, sister! You know I would never treat you like shitbags, like he does! You know where the glory days were! You know who’s the real one! The authentic one! The only one!

The two entered a starring contest… It was intense, the most intense competition of strength, wit and power.

The rest of the crew left… As the two have died of low blood sugar and running out of power consequentially.

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Bad Fiction Ep. 3 & 4 [Bonus Content]

Bad Fiction Episode 3

It was a Tuesday afternoon. The clouds were gathering a few miles away from our town. The sun was approaching its target, as the sky grew red, purple and orange. That was the faithful moment the two met. It was after hours, somewhere after the building they were working in. As their eyes met, their feet started getting in sync. They were walking at the same pace, it was something wonderful. Like finding your one true love in a split second. The tension between them was electric, the sparks were flying. The danger signs were showing all around them. You couldn’t even approach them. Because if you did, you’d get electrocuted. It was something magical, something everyone dreams of. A fairy tale in real life. Time flew by, as each step drew them closer to each other. Nothing stopped them from getting on each other right there and then. In the middle of the street. No one stopping them, because they knew… They knew that what they had could never be matched. They knew that people would stand in awe at their chemistry, something as amazing as this would never show its head ever again. So, as the sun set, as the first stars glew on the sky. As the universe seemed to have aligned just for them, the got even closer. At this point the people around them were in mortal danger. Their sparks were flying left and right, he was biting his lips. She was biting her other lips, people were getting hot and bothered just by being in their vicinity. She loved him, like a love song, baby. Because he was a dangerous kind of guy, a special kind of guy. With he was a spinner boy, he was telling her to fidget his spinner, kind of boy. She touched him, he started moaning. People were looking, but they didn’t care. He was touching her legs, she was trembling. The earth was shaking, he was like a superstar. She was his muse. After five minutes of foreplay, she started screaming, he kept moaning. The moon was bright and full in the sky, everyone admired them. But after another five minutes she grew tired of his moaning and bitching about everything. Because he kept saying he wanted to crack open a cold one with the bois and she wanted to see him do nose dives on the pavement. He couldn’t leave since she got that milkshake that caught him in the first place. Nothing really made any sense for him anymore, as he felt like a Pokemon in a PokeBall, caught by that bastard Giovanni, just because he could do nose dives and be a Licktung. And it was all so obvious, because he was a boy, and she was a girl. And they super liked each other on Tinder, even though they both were fifteen. Such a romance wasn’t even heard of since Romeo and Juliet, such a thing of beauty no one wrote since Shakespeare. And I am that guy to write this. Obviously the story ends with the two lovers breaking up after a week of relationship and they both gave up on women and men, respectively. As she became a feminist and he became a woman. #woke #TheEnd

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Bad Fiction Episode 4 - A Star Wars Episode

“It has been years.” said Luke.

He looked up, as to signal that the end has begun already.

“I need a teacher.” said Rey.

“I can’t teach you.” said Luke. “It’s time for the Jedi to end.”

The air got heavier, a darkness was spreading around us.

“It is time…” said a familiar voice.

“It isn’t!” Luke screamed. 

Rey stood there in shock. The cave shook with Luke’s voice.

Scared, Rey asked “What just happened?”

“It’s nothing.” Luke responded.

“Skywalker, now is your turn.” said Kenobi.

“No, it’s not. This can’t happen again.” replied Luke flustered.

“Hmm… Must you do. Duty have you.” said Yoda.

“Like you did?” Luke screamed again.

In shock Rey stands in a corner, afraid to reach to him. Yet she gets some courage to ask Luke: “Who are you talking to?”

“Kenobi and Yoda.” disgruntled he replied. “They are force ghosts now.” e continued.

‘I see.” said Rey with a concerned look on her face.

“For you to bring this to an end, you have to do this.” said Kenobi annoyed by Luke’s attitude.

“You must repent for your mistakes, I know how hard this can be. I am your father.”

“I know, stop saying that.” replied Luke that was about to exploded into pieces. “Why are you guys here?” he continued.

As this continued, Rey went to the Falcon. As he entered the ship, Chewy was looking at her with hope in his eyes. As she shook her head to signal a no, she went to the comms to talk to Leia.

“Rey?” Leia asked.

“Yes, it’s me. I found him.” Rey responded.

“And?”

“I’m sorry… He isn’t himself.”

In disbelief Leia asked: “What do you mean? What’s wrong?”

“Well… He has dementia. He started talking to dead people. Right now he is in an argument with some Yenobi and Koda.”

Chewy growled.

“Oh… Well, we’re going to have to do this on our own.” said General Leia.

And that’s why Luke was the last Jedi. The End.

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Bad Fiction Ep. 1 & 2 [Bonus Content]

Bad Fiction Ep. 1

As I lift my eyes up, looking at the sky. It dawned on me, the burn of my peehole was a result of all that love I had in me.

“Why are you crying?” she asked like nothing happened.

“It’s nothing, I’m just distraught.” I lied to her. It was the fact that my poopy hole was itching, and she didn’t take her eyes of me. They were really slimey.

“It’s okay, baby.” She continued.

It was not okay, between my two problems the erection she had was only making things harder for me. And the fact that the spaghetti I ordered was so salty, made me think of all those League players I bummed.

“Do you want something for dessert? Or do you want to have dessert at home?” She asked then winked at me. In all honesty, I had no fucking idea what she was talking about. Since she put her finger in the cream the waiter brought her for the coffee.

“Yes, I would like something sweet, not sour.” I said. She frowned afterwards. I was pleased, she looked better when she frowned. Like Batman, but sexier. Since she didn’t need a costume. She was a mystery for me, yet I can’t forget about her and that dinner… As if this wasn’t the last time we’re going to see each other in such a setting.

Bad Fiction Ep. 2

It was a faithful day. The time seemed to stop. The sun was shining. We bathe in its rays for the first eight hours. We were simply delighted.

“What a great day.” She spoke softly.

“Indeed.” I responded in a crass voice.

“Hopefully tomorrow will be the same.” She said with hope and a smile on her face.

“Aaaahhhh!!!” We both screamed. We didn’t know whose smile flew on her face.

“I love you!” We heard as the sky shook.

“I love you!” It continued the voice, as it seemed to get closer.

“I lo…”

“We know!” We shouted back and interrupted the voice.

“Hmph!” We heard, as everything was wrapped in a blinding light. It started to rain, with every drop we heard a matching scream.

“You two are rude, hope you both freeze to death. Have a good night.” Said the voice, as the air was filled with the smell of cooked bacon, burnt hair and screams of agony. The blinding light turned to darkness, the heat of the day turned to freezing cold. As the faithful day turned to a sleazy night. The crying of the sun could still be heard sometimes, even though we haven’t see him take to our sky to give us warmth.

“Betty?” I asked, with no answer, sadly.

“Betty?” I asked again, trying to find some hope in this darkness. Everything under my feet seemed to be ashes. I fill my mouth with some meat that I found on the ground. I was hungry. The screams died down, it seems I was alone. I would have cried, if my eyes wouldn’t have melted. Especially knowing that this meat tasted like my sweet Betty. My sweet and dear cow. It was the last time i actually ate anything. And that was fifteen years ago.

“Do you love me now?” I hear again… As everything burns once again. But it wasn’t his fault, he didn’t know what he was doing. He was just searching for love.

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