Clutched within her, she holds me tight, her head resting on me. You know… I too dreamed of you once, she says sighing. Stiff, I’m unable to respond in any way. Don’t worry, it’s fine. I know. Puzzled I’m trying to understand what she is referring to. She gets up, smiles and turns around to leave. Without thinking I reach out and grab her hand. Think carefully about what you want. We’re not stupid, she says in a dismissive way. As a whole forms beneath me, I try to crawl my way out. But the grass slips through my fingers, and I can’t manage to catch a hand of dirt in my hand. Wait! No! I scream as I fall down into darkness. Nothing around to touch, feel, hear or see. I feel something on my cheek, as I spring out from the darkness, waking up to a familiar face kissing me. Good morning, she says with a smile. I’m going to make us some coffee until you wake up.
Rubbing my eyes, a yawn as I get up and go to the bathroom. While brushing my teeth, I catch a glimpse of my face in the mirror. Fixated, a feeling of disgust takes over as the dream replays in my head, together with the question why. Coffee is done, she shouts interrupting my thoughts. Okay. One moment, I reply while picking up my laptop. Forget it and just forget it, I repeat to myself whilst shaking my head. Thank you, I tell her as I sit down and sip some coffee. Are you okay? She asks. Yeah, why? She takes a second to look at me and says… You look out of it. Nervously I laugh. Trying to wake up, and I feel like I’m not all back together, if that makes any sense. Without hesitation she smiles and responds… No… I get that. My hear skips a beat, my mind is racing. I try to calm myself down by repeating that I did nothing wrong over and over again. With he wicked smile, she gets closer and closer to my face. Don’t be so gloomy, she says. Trying to reassure her, I tell her that I’ll be fine. Hearing that she goes telling me she has to get ready for work.
With the coffee in my hand, I look with empty eyes at the screen of the laptop. Trying to distract myself from the thought I’ve been having, as I have no answer to them. The browser opens, the social media too in the first tab and a picture of the one I just dreamed about appears. I try to avoid it and refresh the page, yet it seems to remain stuck there. I open a new tab, trying to check on the emails, on some videos, or something else entirely, but every time, there is nothing new, so I go back to the first tab and see her face once more. I saw that pic too, she looks hot in this one. Glad she finally found some courage. Surprised I turn around and ask her about what she is talking. She points to the screen. Oh, yeah, I mean… It’s whatever. She laughs… Then why were you looking at the picture? I, with a serious face, turn towards her. I was looking into nothingness, just blanking looking at nothing. With a devilish smile she looks me in the eyes and says… If you’re lying to me, I’ll know. I sigh and she leaves for work. I am left home alone again, with my head in my hands, looking at a picture on my screen, as a message pops up…
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