Author Raul F. O.

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The Horrorscope - Episode 29.5: A Phenomenal Day

Tall, handsome, the most admired of officers, the man, the myth, the legend with the juiciest lips ever, Pheno! And here’s where everyone would clap and whatever, says Pheno. Man, you have quite the imagination, says Ada. Well, what the hell am I supposed to do? Luckily, nothing’s happening on patrol, says Pheno. Man, that’s why you’re just a lowly officer, man. You could’ve advanced so many times and you passed the opportunities so many times. Do you really like being sent on patrol that much? Asks Ada. Pheno nods furiously. Absolutely man, I’d be long depressed if I ever had to spend one day in there doing reports and calling and stuff like that. I prefer seeing people, being out. Living. For example, did you know that at that corner there was once just the coolest coffee place ever? And then when they legalized cocaine and all drugs and stuff, like a hundred thousand years ago or whenever that happened, they fucking lunatics came and burnt it down? Why? Cause they thought the coffee was suddenly too mellow. Life is crazy if you look at it. It’s like the void, it looks back if you look into it, says Pheno as a car explodes at the corner as they wait at a crossing in an intersection.

It’s one of those pranksters again, says Ada as Pheno pulls the car over. They’re the fucking worst, says Pheno as he gets out of the car and starts running after the two guys that stood with a remote in their hands watching the car explode. They’re so lucky we don’t die, says Ada. Ada! You genius! exclaims Phone as he pulls out his gun and start shooting at the two running away from them. Damn, right, says Ada as he pulls out his gun and starts shooting too. The two manage to shoot the runners in the back and one of them in their right leg. Wooo! exclaims Ada. That’s how you do it, says Pheno as the two high five. It was just a prank, I swear, says one of the two. Yeah, it was our car. Tell him. We bought it and we blew it up. That can’t be illegal or anything, right? says the other. Yeah, it was… What do you call it? A social experiment, to see how people react, quickly adds the first guy. Are you two morons? asks Ada. Of course it’s illegal to blow up stuff in public. Just because we’re immortal, doesn’t mean we do this type of horrible stuff. What’s wrong with you two? asks Pheno. How old are you? asks Ada. We’re twenty five and a bit, says one of the two. And you’re still doing this type of stuff? Grow up, you two, says Pheno as he picks the two up and pushes them towards the direction of the car.

See you tomorrow, Pheno. Take care, says Ada. You too, buddy, says Pheno. I can’t wait to get home. I haven’t had such an eventful day in a while. Not that I ever wished for this type of stuff. I guess it’s better than literal death, or worse… Office work… Pheno looks down at his bicep. I guess we’ll take care of you two tomorrow. Tonight, we have to hydrate this gorgeous face and these lips. We can’t get them to crack now. Not now that I’m proud of ‘em, he says as he gets into the car and drives home. As the night’s sky slowly turns into darkness, the lights on the street shine bright over the hood of Pheno’s car. No music, no distractions, just him, the car, the noise of the engine and the road. It’s like therapy, nothing compares to your own car and the way it works. They can give me whatever newest car they desire. They can give me whatever they think works best for work. But the feeling I have when driving this, is priceless. You really could say today was a phenomenal day, he says as he starts laughing. Half an hour later he arrived home. Honey, I’m home!

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