I Write Sins... Not Tragedies 33 - Paranoid
What are you talking about? She takes a step back. Don’t say that. You know what I’m talking about. I’m not in the mood for this… I don’t ever remember you being so forgetful. So, how about you tell me what shouldn’t I know? Frightened she looks at me. I have no clue what you are talking about. I slam my hand on the table. Yes you do. Don’t play dumb, of course you do. You know everything. There is no way you don’t know what I am talking about or referencing. So, what the fuck am I supposed to not know? My hands are shaking. I really have no clue what you are on about. Where did this… I stand up. Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me now. You… She takes another step back and hits the door behind her. When did I say that? What are you talking about? I slam my hand on the table again. Yesterday! Not a week ago, not a few months ago, but yesterday! You told a dude, at your work, that I shouldn’t know about something.
Her eyes get teary. I don’t know. Bullshit! I scream. There is no fucking way that you don’t remember that. It was right during our call. But I didn’t talk to anyone during our call, she says. Yes, you did. What the fuck are you on about? You put your phone away for some reason and didn’t hang up thinking I will. And then you started fucking flirting and telling that guy about something that I shouldn’t know about! So tell me. What the fuck should I not know about? And since when? Since when should I not know about things? Seems to me… I sit down. It seems to me like you’re not happy, anymore. Like, I’m not happy anymore. Like, I don’t know why we are even doing this anymore. Do you ever ask yourself why we’re doing this? Or… What are we doing? Because I… Don’t know anymore. I don’t know what you are doing. I don’t know what I am doing. I don’t even want to know. Because I’m afraid whatever you might say, is… Worse than I imagined. And I don’t want that.
She stands there looking at me. Her eyes watering… I don’t know either. I just don’t want to fight or worse… And… The thing you shouldn’t know about was stupid. Because it wasn’t even anything. It was just an idea I had about something I thought to buy. But then, I looked for it and saw that it was dumb and gave up on it last night. This is why I told you not to hold onto things, because I already forgot about it and it wasn’t even anything important. Yes it was, I say, it very much was. And I didn’t, because it happened yesterday. Yes, she interrupts me, but you could have called me again and not wait a whole night to start a fight. I’m sorry, I say. She starts laughing. I can’t believe it. It took you this many years to admit you were wrong for one. At least I did, I tell her as I start laughing too. Please don’t make this a habit, she says as she hugs me. Please don’t do that anymore then… She nods as her tears hit the top of my head. Okay…
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