Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of reasons are those? Who do you think you are trying to convince with this crap? You could just admit tot the fact that you feel lonely, that would be fucking fine. But, you can’t go around now or never saying that you want to be free. What the fuck are you talking about being free? Free from what? A conscious? Consequences? Pain? We both know that you can’t live without those and there is no way for you to avoid them, no matter what you do. Or are you just that fucking horny to give up on any fucking dignity for some dick that plays you however he wants? You do realize that he is making a fool out of you both, right? He has a wife! And he is cheating on her with you! You will never be together, no matter how much you fucking believe in whatever is in your head right now. And what’s worse, is that I promised you that if you’d wanted, I’d be with you. I promised you!

You’re a moron, she replies without any hesitation. Why? Because I can’t think to let you fuck shit up? Because I am trying to help you like you help me? Why am I a moron? Tell me. She stares at me with a disappointed expression on her face. As I sit there looking at her, waiting for her to respond, she smiles and shakes her head. I never asked you for any of that. And nor is it your place to butt in or even criticize me, now is it? She asks. I told you what I told you because you asked for it, not because I wanted to get involved with you in some way. And it’s my right to do whatever I choose, no matter how wrong it is, now isn’t it? Before I even get a chance to respond she continues. You do understand boundaries, right? I’ve been your friend until now, because I thought you understood me, at least. Since we have such similar experiences. Guess I was wrong. You are just as self-centered and as much of a hypocrite as anyone. My soul starts burning.

It’s because I understood you, I promised that if you’d ask, I’d be with you! Because I loved you. I thought you’d actually grow up and care to settle down with someone that actually gives a shit about how you feel and what you want and what you went through. But no, you stood there, did nothing! Nothing! Every time I offered, all you had to do is say yes, but you didn’t. So, yes. I do know boundaries, otherwise, you wouldn’t have been as miserable as you are now. For how long did you think I was going to wait for you? How many attempts did you want me to have before actually going for it? Don’t give me that. I have been waiting for you since college, I tried. But apparently, it wasn’t good enough for you. She looks at me with anger. Aren’t you engaged now? Without hesitating. Aren’t you dating a married man? Why would you be opposed to an engaged one? I thought you didn’t care anymore. She tries to interrupt. But… I continue without letting her finish her thought. No buts, grow up. Make your mind up about what you want. Stop playing dumb games that won’t take you anywhere. Just as I say that, she gets up and….

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