Bad Fiction Ep. 5

“It’s been five years, two week and one day. This was the first time it snowed more than one night. I woke up to this beautiful sight of you and the snow covered houses and roads. I missed this.” I said, sipping my hot coffee.

“It must feel nice.” She replied.

“Yeah, I haven’t had this feeling since I killed Santa.” I say with a new found love for Christmas.

“I’m glad you can enjoy this time of the year again.” She said in a very relieved tone.

“Took me some time, glad I back.” I turn, looking at her… She was wearing a hoodie, holding her coffee mug, smiling.

“You know, since you’re back…” She said with a suggestive smile on her face.

“What? No…” I said in disbelief.

She took a step back and pouted, I didn’t know this would have such an effect on her.

“Come on, don’t be like this.” I said.

“Then satisfy me.” She said with a stern look on her face.

I was in shock, I didn’t know what to say.

“Please…” She begged.

I was frustrated, but determined to do it. I wanted this Christmas to be special. Something really special.

“Fine, let’s do this.” I said this knowing that the world would be turned upside-down.

She started smiling again, she started jumping on the bed, rushing towards the closet to get her clothes.

“I’ll be ready in five minutes, puddin’.” She said.

“Puddin’…” I say snickering. Why was she calling me that? I never knew why. And especially after all this time. Maybe it was just nostalgia. But I felt like I could laugh again. Really laugh. Let’s see if that’s what I need.

“I. Am. Ready!” She said way too enthusiastically. 

I was way too concentrated to noticed her outfit at first, or to listen to whatever she was saying. Suddenly my hearing comes back and I hear her…

“Come on, Puddin’. Why so serious? Can’t you smile for me?”

“Ha ha ha ha hahahahahahahaha. Merry Christmas, dear.” I say.

“That’s better. Now let’s go kill the new Santa, that’s my gift to you.” She says smiling from ear to ear. But I was afraid. I haven’t done this in quite a while…

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Bad Fiction Episode 6

Lawrence-Sama enters the room. Bruce is shook, trembling with fear at the size of his Sama’s Hatsune Miku.

Lawrence-sama: Bow to me.

Bruce-kun: Yes, master.

Lawrence-sama: Why isn’t my seat warm? You know how my Hatsune likes the sit!

Bruce-kun: Y-yes, I’m sorry. So, sorry.

As he takes his rightful place as the Captain of the SSFH, Lawrence-sama angered by the fact that Adamu and Jamesu weren’t at their posts, he uses instant transmission. Only two find the two of the cucking each other.

Lawrence-sama: What the fuck are you guys doing? We have to go to Animetion-5-Sektor. Why are you cucks cucking right now?

Adam: I’m so sorry, it’s just been so long.

James: You never give us any free time, we had to do something.

Lawrence-sama: Not in here, not right now. We’re on a very important mission right now!!! The fate of the Teeth of the Rooster are at fucking risk, you cucks.

All were very upset about this situation, not just due to the blue balls the three were having, but also because of the already huge amounts of the word “cuck” in this Bad Fiction Episode. As they went towards the command deck, Elyse suddenly emerged from the room… Angry… Hissing, as her blue skin was falling off, she went on a rampage. Kicking a box for thirty minutes, until a gentleman named Ben the Son came and calmed her down, by petting her head. We learned that she was mourning the death of Fart of the Hands, one of her best friends. He had died in a tragic accident whist giving her an abortion. Anyway, back on the command deck, Lawrence-sama finally calmed down too, as they set sail towards the Animetion-5-Sektor. Where Lawrence-sama was promised to marry a princess. Suddenly an SOS signal came through. It was the SS-Bungalow, Captain /\ had brought too much rhye and corn on board, with oates overflowing.

Lawrence-sama: What the fuck /\?! Didn’t I tell you not to do this anymore? This is what? The third time? God fucking damn it! I’m supposed to pick out my fucking waifu, not help you.

Bones: Ha! You mean like I picked your mom up?

Lawrence-sama: God damn it, Bones! Not now.

After five years in space, eating oats, rhye and corn, the SSFH was finally back on road. Shitting bricks, with no one able to cuck, fuck, suck or cum anything but fiber. Yet the one thing that they all noticed, it was that they got ripped, not jacked, but ripped.

They finally jumped to Animetion-5-Sektor, Lawrence’s Hatsune Miku was growing. They finally got there, it was everything he imagined. The physics, the shapes, the bounciness, the ratios, it was heaven. They finally landed the damn ship, after a few hours of roaming around looking at everything. As they landed a voice is heard: “You’re not the real one. I am.” In shock Lawrence-Sama looks around to find the source of the voice… It was a laptop.

Laptop IG: I am the original, I am the real one.

Lawrence-sama: No, no you are not! How dare you? I am!!! I am the quintessential gamer!!! You were no one!

Laptop IG: Join me, brothers, sister! You know I would never treat you like shitbags, like he does! You know where the glory days were! You know who’s the real one! The authentic one! The only one!

The two entered a starring contest… It was intense, the most intense competition of strength, wit and power.

The rest of the crew left… As the two have died of low blood sugar and running out of power consequentially.

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